Call Me Danna
by Ai-Fennec
Summary: Sasori and Deidara's relationship from day 1. YAOI, crossdressing, language[SasoDei][DeiSaso][DeiIta]
1. Meeting and Exposing

AN// another of myself and Katsuya-chan's role plays. Again, myself and Sasori, with the bold writing, and Katsuya-chan as Deidara with the normal writing.

"And your partner, Sasori." Itachi rolled his red eyes at Deidara's pout of disdain, and wandered off.

Deidara was surprised, to say the least. He already missed Zetsu. Damned Orochimaru, quitting like that. Sasori had always creeped him out a little, small slots full of evil for eyes and no hair to be seen. Deidara sighed again, but tried as hard as he could not to frown. Good first impressions might save him from an unsightly death. He forced a smile at the other, and extended his hand to be shaken. Palm-up, without thinking.

**Sasori extended his hand, turning Deidara's in the process, and shook it. His tails flicked restlessly, the cloak twitching with the movement. "Hnn." The disapproval of his partner was shown thickly in his voice, his eyes glittering with venom.**

Deidara was a little scared. This guy was even more unfriendly than Kisame-kun. He gave up slightly on the grin, and hung his head slightly. "Yeah, we should set off... It's a long way to the fire country, yeah..." He had a thought suddenly. "We should talk battle strategies or something on the way, yeah." One of the dark clouds of gloom flitted away. At least the awkward silences wouldn't be his fault.

**Sasori grunted, and trudged away, somewhat quickly for being so hunched. He threw glances over his shoulder towards Deidara, not really caring whether he followed or not. He was, to say the least, pissed off that Orochimaru, that goddamn child molester, had just ran off to find a different container. Stupid Itachi was the one to blame, too. Never liked him.**

Deidara followed like a puppy. He wasn't really ever going to lead anyone anywhere. He wondered off-handedly why Sasori was being so unpleasant. Maybe he was missing Orochimaru? His hand dug into his satchel, and he found one of the last candy bars. That was one of the perks of travelling with Zetsu; his chocolate obsession rivalled his flesh one. He chewed his twix idly, glancing between the beautiful blue sky, and the other guy. He pondered them ever becoming friends. He shrugged off the idea, deciding anyone that ugly wasn't worth it.

**Sasori glanced at Deidara, and made a soft gagging noise. "Yuech. That chocolate stinks." Sasori snarled, pressing a sleeve to his masked nose.**

Deidara shrugged. "I missed breakfast; Ita-san said I had to get here IMMEDIATELY, yeah. So I'm eating now. I don't have anything else, yeah." He sighed, he didn't really like arguments. "And I think you're weird, yeah."

**"That's nice." One tail twitched in annoyance, while the other curled over Sasori's head. "What the hell is your skill meant to be, anyway?"**

"I'm an artistic explosives expert, yeah." He watched the tails idly. "Ita-san said Akatsuki was in need of a long-range attacker, so he sent Zetsu-chan scouting, yeah." He crumpled up the candy bar wrapper, and shoved it in his pack. Deidara tried to imagine Sasori's skill. Probably catapulting himself at the enemy.

**"Hmm." Sasori sighed, and stretched his arms out in front of him, clicking every single one of his joints in the process, making a chorus of clicking noises. He clicked his neck, both ways, and just to creep of Deidara, turned his head backwards to look at him.**

Deidara thought he was probably right. He wasn't grossed out by the neck-thing; Itachi was well-renowned for his double-joints. Deidara was bored, hot, and angry that Sasori was such a jerk, and there was sand in his sandals. So he was pretty down. He found a lump of clay up his sleeve, and his left hands mouth started chewing it down. He removed his cloak, draped it over his right arm.

**Sasori, quite annoyed that his trick didn't work, turned his head back round. Being a puppet, he couldn't feel the heat.**

**Later on, some time after sunset, Sasori stopped walking and pulled his pack from underneath his cloak. "We camp here." He had hidden his tails beneath his cloak, for the metal would catch the cold and THEN he would feel it.**

Deidara was silently grateful. He sat down heavily, and pondered sleeping lying on his back under the sky. Tents were so bothersome, and he was exhausted from walking. He hoped they were at least NEAR grass, it felt like he had marched all the way across rock again. He flopped backwards with a small squeak, and shut his eyes.

**Sasori buttoned up his cloak fully, and sunk his head down. He looked vaguely like a pigeon waiting to die. Except he wasn't grey. He was black and red.**

Deidara started tapping. He was bored, and he had some ridiculous song stuck in his head. A bunch of drunken idiots him and Zetsu had run past in rock were singing it, and their awful voices were running around his head. Something about lobsters. Deidara didn't open his eyes. He didn't WANT to talk to that guy, he would be rude and dismissive of anything Deidara had to say, and he had a feeling.

**Sasori's eyes were darting around, suspicious of any activity. He growled low in his throat whenever the bushes rustled, or something landed on a tree. Which, thank god, wasn't frequent.**

At the first growl, Deidara jumped slightly. The sound was too similar to the rattle of a snake for his liking. He tapped away on the sand absent-mindedly. He was hungry.

**Sasori looked at Deidara. "If you're hungry, there is so such thing as rabbit. Tche." He turned his head at the sound of a rustle in the trees, followed by a clunk. "That sounds too much like Ninja for my liking." He growled. His tails curled and twitched, flattened, curled, and twitched.**

Deidara sighed. He was tired, couldn't the stupid ninja come back later? He pushed his hands together, and henge'd himself invisible. "I'll leave the fighting to you, yeah." he rolled back onto his back, and watched the tail idly.

**"Yeah, thanks." He snarled. When the source of the thuds came into view, Sasori chuckled to himself. "A Genin team and a Jounin." A blonde haired boy, dressed in orange, growled, an ebony haired boy flicked his hair, and a pink haired girl drew backwards, obviously scared enough to faint. But the Jounin - "Copy Ninja Kakashi. What a nice way to meet." Sasori smirked, and clicked his shoulders.**

Deidara, as silently as possible, shuffled behind the group. He kept eye-contact with the girl, as she kept looking about. He moved slowly, just in case he was spotted. If his henge failed, he was going to run. He glanced back, making sure Sasori was alright. He was having a glare contest with the jounin with the dumb hair. So Deidara increased his step, and made it past the three kids. One of them looked familiar. Oh well. He knelt down, and fiddled in his pockets for clay.

**The Jounin prepared himself to fight, and looked at his three Genin. Sasori laughed. "Worried about your team, Kakashi? You should be." He pulled a scroll from his pocket, and unravelled it. Blood seeped through his thumb joint and he struck it along the scroll. A puppet appeared, in a puff of smoke. The blonde boy looked shocked as hell. Chakra exploded from Sasori's fingertips, sticking to the puppets joints. The puppet did a small whirl in the air, and its jaw dropped. A small blade poked from where the tongue should be. It stuck forwards, and it revealed that it was either painted red or had a very recent coating of blood. The puppet flung forwards, its jaw clicking against the blade. The jounin jumped out of the way, but the ebony haired boy was too slow. The blade stuck into his shoulder. He yelled in pain, jumping backwards, and ducking as the puppet moved again. The girl screamed, running to his aid, and the blonde boy charged for Sasori. "Naruto!" Kakashi ran after the blonde, but too late. Sasori had knocked him against the tree. Kakashi pulled back, kunai at hand. Sasori rose an eyebrow, but wasn't ready for the blow that followed. Kakashi had a clone sneak up behind Sasori, and kick his back, hard. Sticking in a kunai for good measure, the clone 'poof'ed. Sasori coughed, and the shell burst open. A cloaked figure, still with chakra leading to the puppet, struck at the Jounin. He hit the Jounin square in the chest. Blood spurted everywhere. The blonde roared in anger, heading straight for the new cloaked figure from the shell.**

Deidara's fingers deftly worked at the clay, pulling stalagmites, and snapping them off with the other hand. He dug further into his pocket, pulled out a vial of poison. He placed three inside the vial, placed his mouth to the other end, and sucked lightly. He stopped the ends of the tubes with excess clay stuck under his nails. The other ends had small shards of broken glass shoved in, to break the skin. He readied his fingers, and aimed for the homely girls back. Only two hit, but they stuck in at the right angle. She sighed, and collapsed to the floor. Deidara loved using sedatives, they robbed honour and consciousness. Deidara walked a simple four feet to the left, and readied his next lot of darts. He would aim for the blonde, he had a feeling the kid in blue would notice. Deidara saw the blonde move, and threw two, then another two, then another two. At least three would hit, he hoped.

Four did hit, but all over. One in the blonde's upper arm, one in his ribs (JACKPOT!) and two stuck next to each other in the kid's ankles. If he pulled them out, he would hopefully bleed to death.

But no, the blonde didn't seem to notice. He took another three steps towards what was apparently Sasori, but his left leg gave in and he fell to the floor. He tried to reach for a kunai, but his arm wouldn't move. He pointed directly at Deidara, and screamed "SASUKE! GET HER!" Deidara growled. He had forgotten to keep his genjutsu up. He ran for it, digging out a readymade number 17 (named by Itachi as "rocking robin" ;D) out of his back pocket. He threw it over his shoulder, and ducked as it exploded in red sparks. Number 17 was a distraction, not an attack. While everyone was (hopefully) blinded/not looking, Deidara recast his genjutsu.

**Sasuke, the ebony haired boy, jumped at Deidara, drawing his fist back, and grabbing a kunai from his pouch. He drew both fists back, and tried to strike. But was surprised by the sparks, so drew back. The new cloaked figure took off, the puppet poofing into smoke. A strong hand grabbed Deidara's wrist, and pulled him along, chakra flooding from the fast moving legs.**

Deidara was surprised, to say the least. But he ran like fuck anyway, trying to think of something to say. ""Get her!"" he mimicked, making a face. "Fucking chubby kid, yeah. I'm glad I didn't knock him out, I bet he feels REAL stupid now, yeah." He spat roughly. He glanced at Sasori, and was a little shocked. Short red hair, grey bored eyes. He looked about thirteen, not about forty. Christ. How did he miss that? Where was he looking in battle when he could be staring slack jawed at the tiny guy pulling him by the elbow?

**Sasori said nothing, just kept moving. Tugging Deidara up into a tree, he used the branches to push off. Much quicker than just running. About five minutes later, he stopped. There was no hint of breathlessness, or Chakra depletion. He pulled down his hood, shaking down his maroon hair and closing his blue-grey eyes.**

"**Come on. We'll camp at the next clearing."**

Deidara sighed. There was no pleasing some people. He bounced obediently after the other. He eagerly awaited the next clearing.

**Sitting down, his shrugged off the hooded cloak to reveal another Akatsuki cloak. He grunted, rubbing his back through the cloak.**

Deidara plonked down on the grass, ass first. He flopped onto his back again.

**Sasori hugged himself, and closed his heavy eyelids, the thick, dark eyelashes tickling his skin.**

Deidara tried to make sense of the day quietly. He failed miserably.

**Sasori sighed, or made a noise that sounded like a sigh. Considering he had no lungs, it was somewhat difficult to sigh.**

Deidara shifted a little closer to Sasori absent-mindedly. He watched three clouds dance across the sky lazily. It was gonna be a crap day tomorrow.

**Sasori cast a heavy-lidded glance to Deidara before closing his eyes again, and falling into a light sleep.**

Deidara's sleep was interrupted and annoying. Two of his dreams had pirates in.

**Sasori woke up in the morning with light shining on his face. He winced at the bright light, but stood up, clicking his joints. "Hey, Deidara. Wake up."**

Deidara sat up instantly. Any distraction from pirate-Kakashi was welcome, even sunlight that hurt his eyes. He got to his feet, and shook his head a lot. "DAMNIT, we're still in wind. Yeah?"

**"Hnn. Only a little way from the next border." Sasori clicked out his heels, and waved a hand to Deidara before starting his lazy, slow walk.**

Deidara followed him, yawning and reaching in his satchel for "breakfast". This was some water from his flask and a kit kat. He waited for Sasori's complaints about the chocolate.

**Sasori gagged his disapproval of the kit kat. "Why don't you eat normal food? Like ramen or SOMETHING other than that vile stuff?"**

"Ramen is hard to pack, yeah. Chocolate comes wrapped in foil, and it's nice melted." Deidara grinned. "I have some skittles, yeah, but they're even SWEETER."

**"At least they don't REEK of sugar!" Sasori wrinkled up his nose.**

"They do!" Deidara giggled.

**"Just don't eat chocolate in my presence, alright? It stinks, and it makes me want to vomit. Thankfully, I can't. Or I probably would have worn away my windpipe. Which I don't have."**

"How do you SMELL then?"

**"I just do! Alright?" Sasori snapped.**

Deidara rolled his eyes. Sasori was allowed to be rude and tense, but if he asked a question he got into trouble. This guy reminded Deidara of mother.

**Sasori huffed, and scowled. His lazy steps turned into half-stomps, and his pace quickened somewhat.**

Deidara sighed gratefully. "Yay, no more sand!" He wanted to dance in joy, but he heavily doubted that would please Sasori. He kicked off one shoe, shook sand out of it, and then did the other. He sighed. "So... Yeah..."

**Sasori rose an eyebrow at Deidara, then rolled his eyes. "There should be a village somewhere around here."**

"The village of grass?" Deidara sighed. Now he REALLY missed Zetsu.

**"I knew that." Sasori snapped. His eye twitched. Oh, he missed Orochimaru. ALOT. Orochimaru wouldn't sigh at him, just laugh. And then Sasori could laugh too. Deidara made him feel stupid. He would pay for that later...**

Deidara trudged along wearily. There was something emotionally draining about Sasori. He couldn't really say "BE MORE PERKY", because that was his and ZETSU's in-joke, goddamnit. He, instead, shrugged. "Glad it's not too hot today, yeah."

**"Hnn. I'm glad for you." Sasori muttered, blinking lazily.**

Deidara growled. He was trying, for fucks sake! He dug in his sleeves for a distraction, and found some cinnamon gum. When the hell did he have gum? Oh yeah, Itachi gave him some. Cinnamon doesn't really smell sweet, he reasoned, and shoved a stick into his mouth. He chewed with his mouth shut, trying to remember what their stupid mission was.

**"Our mission was to get to Konoha, and trail the Jinchuuriki." Sasori blinked, and looked at Deidara. He caught the whiff of cinnamon, and the scent was so strong he sneezed.**

Deidara blinked, wondering how Sasori knew what he was thinking. The sneeze also baffled him. There was no wind, he supposed, so the scent would dance about freely. Odd metaphor there, he thought, wishing vacantly that he could dance about freely.

**Sasori shrugged turning his gaze toward the path ahead and ignoring Deidara, somewhat.**

**After a few minutes, Sasori snapped out of his ignoring of Deidara, and turned his gaze to him. He dug into his cloak, and pulled out a sandwich of sorts that was filled with something that resembled wafer thin ham.**

Deidara's jaw dropped. HAM? What the hell. Deidara just wondered how long it had been in the folds of his cloak. And if it had any mustard. Deidara ignored the sandwich, and searched for something to say. He fed his right hand some clay.

**Taking a bite from the sandwich, some red stuff spurted from the other end of. He licked off the thick red stuff that was dribbling from the end, then gave Deidara an odd look. He swallowed, and then spoke. "You feed your hands?" **

"They're better at sculpting than I am." Deidara extended his right arm, and the tongue poked out. A small panda sat on it, in mid-roll. "Yeah, I did say I was an artist."

**Sasori blinked in surprise, not bothering to hide the impressed look on his face. "Wow. I didnt think you were that good of an artist."**

Deidara BEAMED. "Thanks a lot, yeah! Maybe you aren't such a jerk after all!"

**"You thought I was a jerk? Well, maybe you'll have a grudge against scorpions..." Sasori trailed off, frowning in thought.**

"You didn't answer any of my questions, and you were really rude to me when we met, yeah, and you say "Hnn" too much, yeah, and you don't like CHOCOLATE, yeah, and... Yeah..." Deidara continued following the other, with a puzzled face as he tried to reason with himself.

**Sasori let out a small 'huff' of laughter, grinning. "You really have no clue."**

Most of the time, yeah." Deidara grinned back. "Zetsu-chan said Ita-san told him to look for dumb blondes as well."

**"Well, Zetsu would be travelling with one, neh?" Sasori turned his attention to the road ahead, taking another bite from the sandwich.**

"Is that ham and ketchup, yeah?" Deidara wrinkled his nose slightly. Ketchup ruined a perfectly good sammich.

**"No. Blood." Sasori held back his bouts of laughter, wondering what the blonde would have to say to THAT.**

"Oh, okay. I just hate ketchup, yeah." Deidara pondered. "How'd ya get blood to stay in a summit, yeah? Surely it'd soak through the bread, yeah?"

**"I'm kidding. Its ketchup. And from my experience, bloodline limit blood doesn't seep through things."**

Deidara smiled wryly. "Blood is thicker than water, yeah?" He scowled at the ketchup dripping from the crusts mildly, and pulled his flask out.

**"Indeed." He folded the sandwich into a large lump, then put it into his mouth, and started to chew. It was gone within about thirty seconds.**

Deidara drunk heavily, and decided not to ask about eating. He chewed on his gum, and spun in a circle. He shrugged when he saw no village pop up. "Yeah."

**"Why do you say 'Yeah' all the time?" Sasori queried.**

"I do?" Deidara seemed genuinely baffled. "Zetsu-chan said that too, yeah, but I don't really notice. One of those things, yeah, speech impediments."

**Sasori grinned, his blue-grey eyes sparkling with amusement. He chuckled. "You really do have no clue."**

"Conversations as dizzy as I am, yeah. We've already said this part." He poked his tongue out.

**Sasori rolled his eyes. "I figured that you were dense, so I should repeat myself to get the point across."**

Deidara just tutted. "Sure, yeah. I believe you, yeah." He winked.

**"At least I'm not as dense as you." Sasori briefly wondered why he was mocking his partner in a game of tease, then dismissed the thoughts to the back of his mind.**

"Few people are so lucky, yeah." Deidara shook his head, making his ponytail waggle.

**Sasori grinned, and looked up at the horizon again. "I can see Grass... faintly."**

Deidara looked, shaking his hair aside. He peered, with his scope. "There are four guys standing outside, yeah. With daggers on their belts. Guards, yeah. Two of them are kinda drowsy, yeah. One is reading a newspaper."

**"And the last?"**

He kept his head at such an angle so Sasori couldn't see his scope. "He's... Scratching his crotch, now, yeah."

**Sasori shuddered. "Maybe we should henge ourselves, even though these people are so goddamn thick they probably wouldn't notice us anyway."**

"I think I could knock 'em out easily, yeah. They look tired enough as it is."

**"Yeah, which would attract attention." Sasori rolled his eyes, and performed a few seals. He concentrated, and he was suddenly a slightly older looking person, with black eyes and shocking white hair tied in a ponytail. He wore a black and white mesh shirt, and a pair of trousers that could only be described as denim. His sandals remained the same, but he didn't have a hitai-ate.**

Deidara mimicked Sasori, and came out in the fug-ugliest khaki pants ever and a white n' blue cheesecloth shirt. He tied his hair into a low ponytail, and discarded his headband. "Fine.."

**As they approached Grass, the guards gave them odd looks, but didn't say anything. He gave a small nod to them, and then looked up at the sky. 'Nearing sunset...' He walked through the gates, calmly, and scanned the empting high street for an inn.**

Deidara trotted after him, in his usual dazed child style. "How much money do you have, yeah? I think I'm too poor for my own room, yeah..." He dug in his pockets, and scowled. "Damnit, yeah."

**He picked up several random leaves, and cast a genjutsu over them, turning them into notes. "About fifty quid."**

"Fuck, YEAH!" Deidara grinned.

**Sasori grinned, and pointed at the sign ahead - a large goofy face painted on it, with 'inn' in kanji in one corner. "There's our inn."**

Deidara had a feeling tonight would suck. He didn't particularly want to explain his thumb-sucking to Sasori, nor did he want to spend the evening alone on the floor. The latter was a lot more probable.

**The foyer was small, cramped, and made of wood. There was a bored, ill looking man behind the counter, who immediately perked up as Sasori walked through. "A room for two?" He chirped. Sasori raised an eyebrow, and nodded. "Room for two." He put the money onto the table, held his hand out for the keys. He got them, and checked the number on them. He ignored the money held out by the innkeeper, and walked up the stairs, opening up the door that they were assigned too. 'Oh, brilliant.' A double bed was the centre piece of the front room, and then there was the beginning of the bathroom, which seemed to be a suite.**

Deidara snorted. "Great, they think we're a couple, yeah."

**"Considering the aura of girly-ness coming from you, I don't blame them. We'll just have to share." He dispelled his Henge, and shrugged off his cloak to reveal his wooden exterior, and the large claws that poked out of his back.**

Deidara tried not to stare at the "wings". They were possibly the most beautiful things he'd seen in a long time. Yet the sharp-looking edges made them a bit obvious a weapon. Deidara was kind of amazed by the workmanship of the joints, the angles of the blades. "...If you say so, yeah."

**He turned, showing his stomach of wires, and the small plug where his heart should have been. "...?" He half expected the blonde to have a hyperactive fit.**

Deidara just plain gawped. The wings may have been pretty, but his front sure wasn't. He shrugged it off, and flopped onto the bed. If he could ignore Zetsu's flytrap, he could ignore that.

**With an irritated flick of his wings, he frowned, and walked into the bathroom. There was another door from the suite. He raised an eyebrow, and opened it. "What the fuck - A FRIDGE?" Sure enough, there was a giant fridge filled with random drinks and food.**

Deidara squealed. "I hope there's CHOCOLATE, yeah!"

**"There's... cheese. And a very large bar of chocolate, which is cold, so I cant SMELL IT! HURRAH!" Sasori closed the fridge, rolling his eyes, before lying down on the bed. A trap closed over his stomach, and he half-closed his eyes.**

Deidara didn't move, but made a mental note to have chocolate for breakfast.

**Sasori fully opened one eye. "Don't leave the chocolate out so that it's not cold. Otherwise you'll be having savoury food for breakfast." The eye half closed again.**

Deidara smiled. "Sure thing, yeah." He closed his eyes and rolled to one side.

The light that dared shine THROUGH the thin blinds seemed ultra-painful. It was really bright, and really cold. Deidara hated mornings. He hated cold mornings the most. He tried waking, but it hurt to open his eyes. So he just wiggled his toes, and tried to tempt his hand into moving. He tried to think of the chocolate in the fridge, but it did little to fight the sluggishness in his limbs.

**Sasori opened his eyes at the slightly movement that Deidara gave off. He blinked hard at the sunlight, and when he had gotten over the brightness, glared at it. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and stretched to a chorus of his clicking joints. He shook his head, messing up his auburn hair further, before walking into the bathroom to get the chocolate from the fridge for Deidara.**

Deidara didn't notice much, besides the bed suddenly getting hell'a lot colder. "Sasori?" He croaked into the day, shivering at the thought of leaving his warm sanctum to go and fight fox-spirits. He pulled the blankets up over his eyes, hugged his knees, and yawned a lot.

**"Hnn?" Sasori pulled with chocolate from the fridge with a grimace, walking back to the bedroom and placing the chocolate bar beside Deidara's blankety form. "Breakfast."**

Deidara tugged the blanket down past his chin, and examined Sasori wearily. He pushed the blanket to his waist, shivering, and snatched the chocolate. "Morning!" He chirped, and then started pushing the bar into his mouth. He ate like a garbage-disposal, that is to say fast. He smiled with a brown mouth, and groped for his cloak. He tugged it on, and sighed quietly. He looked up at Sasori again coyly. "Thanks, yeah."

**"Go and wash your face. You look like you've fallen into a puddle of mud." Sasori rolled his eyes, pulling on his own cloak and curling up into a small ball on the bed.**

Deidara obediently trudged to the bathroom, but the blanket went with him. "AI! It's really cold, yeah."

**"Get used to it, its winter. We might get snow. And then you can go and make little snow sculptures." Sasori grumbled.**

"I'll take up knitting, yeah, and make everyone really ghastly scarves." Deidara grinned. "And we'll all be real itchy in the mornings because I've knitted you all matching hunter green pyjamas, yeah." He emerged, chocolate-free, brushing his left hands teeth. "This is why you can't give me ideas, Sasori."

**"I'll keep that in mind." Sasori smirked, and looked in interest at Deidara.**

Deidara returned his little glance with a giggly wink. "It feels so early, yeah." He stretched half-heartedly, and blinked a lot. He pulled his hair over his shoulder and glared at it. Somehow, it was still blonde, and straight. Everyone else envied his hair, Deidara loathed it. Its brightness gave him a migraine, on bad days. "So we keep moving east, yeah?" It was going to be a rough morning. He'd slept like a log, and woken up all together too quickly. He'd had another flying dream, which was nice, but they always seemed to predict up coming evil. Deidara stood up, and started making use of the rooms tea-making facilities.

**He smirked at Deidara glaring at his hair, finding it really quite amusing. "Yep. We'll probably get there at somewhere around dusk, so there's no point in looking for Kyuubi until tomorrow."**

"Oh, yeah." Deidara sounded quite relieved about that. "And I finished the chocolate, yeah." He tugged his hair up slowly, winding his tie around it. He shrugged. "I hate walking, but we have to I guess, yeah. At least this place is pretty, yeah."

**"Hnn. At least. Come on, we better bolt before they have ninja on us. I can't be assed for Henge..." He swung open the window, leaving the keys on the ledge, and sprung out, making his way through Grass with powerful jumps across the rooftops. No-one seemed to notice. Sasori was quickly out of sight over the wall.**

Deidara's jaw dropped slightly, but he grabbed his bag and sprung after Sasori. Deidara landed his first jump awkwardly on his left ankle, which proceeded to cheerfully hurt like buggery. He did his best to ignore it and catch up with the other, ignoring the aching twang every few minutes. The pain reminded him of his mother in that it just WAS, wasn't awful or great or gone, was just there to make things that bit harder. Deidara had ignored his mother while she was alive, so he planned to do the same for his stupid foot. "Sasori-san!" He breathed, slightly annoyed the other had rushed off without him.

**Sasori appeared at the top of the wall. Chakra strings fell from his fingers, and he wrapped them around Deidara. He pulled Deidara up to the wall top, and jumped off again.**

Deidara squeaked in irritation. He was being treated like a five-year old! Maybe it was the chocolate. He pouted, but bounced off the wall after the other anyway. His leg reminded him he was hurt, which made his tempter slightly worse.

**Sasori looked at Deidara. "Are you alright?" He stepped forwards, head cocked to one side as he looked at Deidara's leg.**

"Yeah," Deidara grunted lightly. He didn't trust himself to say anymore, lest his temper explode, leaving him stuck with a very angry Sasori. He didn't really fancy incurring his wrath. "I screwed my ankle a bit, but it's no reason to stop moving, yeah." See? That was calm. He congratulated himself.

**"Come on. Sit down." Sasori put a hand on Deidara's shoulder, and pressed lightly, urging him to sit down.**

Deidara sighed and plopped backward onto his backside. He bent one knee so the offending foot sat on his lap. "It's not that bad, yeah, I just knocked it the wrong way... I think I should try and walk it off, yeah?"

**"Shut up. If you walk it off it'll only get worse." He sat down in front of Deidara, and pulled Deidara's foot towards him. He pulled off Deidara's sandal, looked at the ankle, and sent small waves of chakra out of his fingertips and into the foot. He moved the foot back and forth. "Does that hurt?"**

"Yeah." It was a simple breath of "ouch", but that wasn't really Deidara's style. He only said such ugly words when he was REALLY hurt.

**Sasori frowned, and sent more waves of chakra, stronger this time, into the ankle. He wiggled the foot again. "Still painful?"**

Deidara sighed. "This is wasting time, yeah."

**"And? Does it hurt?" Sasori locked eyes with Deidara, frowning.**

Deidara just sighed. "Yeah." He flushed slightly, the direct gaze of the other not something he was used to.

**Sasori turned his attention back to the ankle. "You've screwed it pretty badly. If you walked any more than this the tendon would have snapped. I'm not surprised it still hurts." Sasori wove some chakra strings around the ankle, his chakra slowly seeping into the tendon. "Come on - we'll keep moving. You'll have to lean on me for a while, unless you find a crutch of sorts."**

"Oh, you're JOKING, yeah." Way to prove your strength, Deidara! Deidara was horrified. His foot was talking to him. But he sighed and wrapped an arm around Sasori's shoulders, shakily supporting himself on one leg.

**Sasori walked slowly, despite wanting to run, but hey - he couldn't have a partner with a broken tendon. He looked at Deidara with something readable as concern. He shocked himself. He was hardly ever concerned for himself, let alone other people. Oh, well.**

Deidara hardly noticed the others look, he was too hiding in his collar and feeling stupid. Day two of their (hopefully) wonderful friendship, and this happens. Deidara pondered how lame he must seem, how weak and girlish he obviously appeared to the other. "I'm holding us up, yeah?"

**"It doesn't matter. We'll just get to Konoha a bit later, is all. When your ankle stops hurting, just say." Sasori had his gaze focused ahead.**

Deidara sighed. "Yeah, okay." He hung his head a little, still feeling pretty useless. He racked his mind for conversation, but came up with absolutely nothing to say.

**Sasori smiled, somewhat content in the silence.**

Deidara shivered. He buried his head further into his collar. He was already fucking crippled, he wasn't allowing himself to get a cold as well. He longed for tea, a bath and bed. They were on a mission, however, so he was going to have to do without. Plus Sasori thought he was obsolete already. Deidara realised, with a sad sigh, that what he really wanted was a slap to the back of the head and a gruff voice calling him "Deidara-Hime". Princess Deidara XDDD

**Sasori raised an eyebrow at Deidara. "What're you thinking?"**

"I... Yeah." Deidara felt bad, now. I mean, the guy was obviously trying. It would be a bit cruel to say "I'm lonely" when he had basically agreed to carry you. "I'm thinking," he began shakily, "of something to say, yeah."

**Sasori chuckled softly, but didn't say anything for a few minutes. "Your ankle any better?"**

"It's still there." Deidara smiled faintly. "I dunno." He poked the ground with his foot, and winced horribly. "It's getting worse, yeah! I did say I'd walk it off... Yeah." He frowned. "Am I spoilt?"

**"Not really. Maybe you should use that bird of yours to fly to Konoha. It would get us there quicker..." Sasori looked at the sky for a moment before turning his gaze to Deidara. "What d'you think?"**

Deidara stared blankly. "How did you know about number 22?" making up the numbers ;; "Don't tell me it's, yeah, a legend among Akatsuki or whatever." He laughed faintly. He reached for his pocket, started searching for something.

**"I know things." Sasori tapped his nose, grinning. He tried to peer into the pocket, but considering it was the other side of Deidara, he couldn't.**

Deidara sighed. "It'll take a while, but I guess it would get us there, yeah." He pondered. "I couldn't do any fighting after, though. Too chakra-consuming, yeah... I don't have a lot of clay on me, y'see... Yeah."

**"I could run while you fly. Less weight on you. And if you get too tired, I'll give you some of my chakra." Sasori looked at Deidara. "That alright?"**

"That's ridiculous, yeah."

**"No it isn't. I have enough chakra for the both of us." He rose an eyebrow, daring Deidara to defy him.**

Deidara sighed. "I'll be there, like, an hour before you. And you'll be exhausted. And we'll get spotted and it'll all go wrong, yeah."

**"If you stay low, you wouldn't need to worry about that. Just jump off when you can see Konoha and Konoha cant see you." Sasori shrugged. "As long as we get to Konoha, its fine."**

Deidara shook his head. "You're gonna run. All the way? We're not even at Rain yet, yeah."

**"We'll just stop off. If you're that defiant, I'll fucking carry you there." Sasori was somewhat threatening.**

"Gods, alright! Yeah, I just think it's stupid I should fly while you RUN! It's about nineteen miles! And that's if you can run regular speeds through MARSHES, yeah!" Deidara hadn't raised his voice much. He just seemed a bit indignant. "if you have that much chakra, you can help me with 22. We can fly together then, and there's no chance of you being ambushed or me being caught, yeah?" He had on his lion-taming tone. It was the tone generally used on special children, and Kisame.

**Sasori smiled. "Alright. Tell me when you want the chakra."**

Deidara seemed a bit shocked by the sudden change in Sasori's attitude, but said nothing. He put his hand in his pocket, and found... A pointy knife and half a sandwich? Cool, but... "Yeah, you're wearing my coat." Deidara blushed faintly, realising how stupid the situation was.

**"I am?" Sasori looked into his pockets, and found clay. Clay. Clay. And more clay. He grinned. "I am." Still supporting Deidara, he took off the cloak and draped it around Deidara. "That better?"**

Deidara frowned. "Take yours, there's a bottle of something weird in the other pocket." He took them both off, and held the offending garment out.

**Sasori rolled his eyes, and took the cloak, slipping it on. "Just be glad you didn't open it."**

"Why?" Deidara grinned. "Something naughty, yeah?"

**"Actually, its incredibly lethal poison."**

"Sounds bad to me, yeah. You should keep poison in a bag, or a box so it won't get squished." Deidara dug into the pockets of his coat, digging out the clay. He rolled it about, bashing it on his right thigh. He remained sitting on the grass, moulding and tugging at the clay. It started actually resembling a bird, rather than a lump. Deidara frowned when the wings went floppy, but continued to work. After about ten minutes, Deidara was holding a very real looking bird. If one were to ignore the large, bulbous head, and the vacant, hollowed-out eyes. The bird was, well, a lot bigger than Deidara by now. "When you're ready, yeah."

**Sasori nodded, gathering chakra into his fingertips. He placed his palms against the backs of Deidara's hands, and let his chakra flow through.**

The bird was, ahem, around 9 feet high now. "Yeah, that'll do." Deidara stood up abruptly, and crashed into Sasori's face.

**Sasori grunted. "If I wasn't a puppet and actually felt pain, I would be throttling you."**

Deidara was TRYING not to laugh. So he was giggling in a strangled way.

**Sasori shook his head. "If you want to laugh, then laugh. Don't... giggle. It makes you too feminine."**

"Okay, sorry, yeah..." Deidara bit his bottom lip like a teenage girl Which hardly helped. He shook himself sane Which rarely works and arranged his hands into a seal. "START, YEAH!" A bolt of chakra hit the bird in a large, staring eye. The blueness spread into something resembling an eye. The bird blinked, and lowered its head. Deidara beamed. "Let's go, yeah."

**Sasori jumped onto the bird, and swung Deidara up with him. "Don't want to pressure your ankle."**

Deidara blushed. He leant down and poked the bird in the neck. Its wings started. The turbulance was bad, but Deidara stayed standing hopping. "I love flying, yeah."

**"Hnn." The usual calm noise was now slightly queasy. "I haven't had good experiences with flying... so I bloody well hope that this is going to be better."**

Deidara glanced at Sasori, in something near disbelief. "You get travel sickness, yeah? Aww" He actually "aww"ed. It was odd. But he limped over to Sasori, and walked him forward a few feet. "If you sit nearest the middle, and hold on, it's not so bad, yeah." He was resisting the urge to pat Sasori on the head.

**Sasori walked near the middle, and sat down. He made a queasy groaning noise, looking off the edge of the bird. He didn't even bother glaring at Deidara. He stuck himself to the bird, pulling a face.**

Deidara did feel sorry for Sasori, but he wasn't going to let his dodgy stomach ruin his flight. He stood right near the wing, going up and down fast, and faced the wind. He held his arms out, closed his eyes. A little serene smile painted across his lips.

**Sasori looked at Deidara, and suppressed his laughing, grinning. He thought it hilariously funny that Deidara was standing there. It reminded him of Titanic.**

Deidara heard a faint snicker. He responded by tapping his foot lightly, three times. The bird proceeded into a barrel roll. Deidara cackled.

**Sasori's eye twitched. He stood up, sticking himself to the bird with Chakra, proceeded to walk towards Deidara, growling. "Stop. The. Rolling. Now. Or I swear I will puke over you."**

Deidara giggled. He tapped with his right foot, and the bird fell neatly out of its roll. Deidara pouted. "You're no fun, yeah."

**"Thank you." Sasori sat down again, sighing. If he closed his eyes, he could just about forget about the height and the strange sensation of flying.**

Deidara sat down next to Sasori, sore foot dangling uselessly down one side of the neck. He tapped again, and the bird slowed down. "We won't get there until nightfall, but if it makes you feel better, yeah." There wasn't any real rocking at all now, just the odd tremble as the wings flapped again. "He isn't designed for gliding, but he can do it."

**"Hnn. We should stop about an hour from Konoha, run from there. Hopefully your ankle will be alright by then.**

"Yeah, seems sensible." Deidara yawned.

**Sasori sniffed. "Hmm." He stretched, and looked out along the horizon. "In fact, best land now. I can see Konoha. Wont be long until they can see us."**

"Aww..." Deidara tapped a couple of times. The bird just stopped, and fell. "Yeah,that's not meant to happen" Deidara said quickly, as they were thrown onto the ground.

**Sasori rolled over, and quickly went over to Deidara. "You alright?" He frowned, locking eyes with Deidara.**

Deidara was laughing. "Yeah... Just kinda bummed, it never listens to me." Deidara looked up, where the bird was shrinking. A lot.

**Sasori blinked, and pulled up Deidara's trouser leg to inspect the ankle. "Feel any better?"**

"I guess, yeah." Deidara was still a bit baffled at the attention, obviously.

**"Kay. Come on." Sasori stood up, and held a hand out to him, offering to help him up.**

Deidara took his fingers, obviously trying to keep Sasori away from his hand mouths. He pulled, and stood. Deidara shook his head, and held out the other hand. A big lump of clay splatted in it grossly. Deidara deposited this into his coat pocket idly. "So let's go." He made no attempts to let go of Sasori's hand.

**Sasori smiled, his grip slackening but not letting go, completely. He began his slow, lazy pace, looking up at the dusk-night sky.**

Deidara was glad. For the company, for Sasori in general. He sighed, and walked alongside him.

**Sasori glanced over at Deidara, then at their hands. When was the last time he had held someone's hand? Years. Lots of years.**

Deidara didn't really notice Sasori's awkwardness, so he didn't let go. He kept the idle, comfortable pace. He was humming, under his breath, and staring at the trees ahead.

**Sasori found his head bopping slightly in time with Deidara's song. He chuckled, his blue-grey eyes half closing.**

Deidara was snapped slightly off-beat by the faint laugh. "Yeah?" He asked, trying to remember his place, humming bars ultra-fast.

**"Nothing." Sasori grinned, wider than he had ever grinned.**

Deidara glanced sideways at the other, and giggled at his face. "Sasori, you look ridiculous. Stop laughing at me, yeah!" He pulled a face and flailed with the other arm.

**"I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at myself." Sasori was still grinning, seeing as it was the only thing that could substitute for the laughter.**

Deidara quirked his visible eyebrow. "Huh?" Then his face lit up. He'd obviously remembered his place as the humming started again.

**Sasori turned his gaze back up to the sky, then looked ahead. "We better henge soon... Konoha is getting nearer." For some odd reason he sing songed 'nearer'. He chuckled again, then bit his tongue softly to stop any more flooding out.**

Deidara was just plain scared now. But he squeezed Sasori's fingers, to let him know it was okay. "Yeah..."

**Sasori grinned. He couldn't remember the last time he was as happy as he was - maybe it was when his mother and father were still alive. Or rather, when he killed them. He cocked his head to one side, still looking at Deidara.**

Deidara was singing softly under his breath now, bobbing his head to the music he couldn't hear. "Sasori-san?" He paused for a second, and looked at the other. He smiled, stood closer, and gave the others hand another tug. "I changed my mind, you aren't a jerk, yeah."

**Sasori grinned, and nuzzled Deidara's cheek with his nose. "Glad to hear it." He whispered into the other's ear.**

Deidara smiled broader, very content now he had a friend to travel with rather than a scorpion. He leant closer, sighing happily. Life sure was bliss when you forgot about the jinchuuriki... Goddamnit. Deidara was disappointed when the other pulled away... With an idle thought of "what the hell, yeah" he turned his face and kissed Sasori on the cheek.

**Sasori gave Deidara a smirk, turning his head and returning the kiss on the cheek. He then turned his head towards the road like nothing had ever happened.**

Deidara was kinda glad Sasori didn't flip. He was also quite appreciative that the lips that briefly pressed against his skin were soft, and near enough to warm. He shrugged off the awkward feeling growing low in his stomach, and started walking again. He considered releasing Sasori's hand.

**"We should really henge soon, you know. We aren't walking on treadmills." Sasori rose a brow, tugging his hand out of Deidara's grip to form some hand seals. With a puff of smoke, he was slightly older, with heavy bags under his eyes and messy auburn hair that hung over his eyes, wearing khaki jean-type things and a black trench coat that hung open on a normal bare chest.**

Deidara sighed. "I do hate this, yeah." He looked Sasori up and down, and sighed. With a similar poof, he looked younger. Around thirteen, perhaps. Hair pulled back into a tight braid, and dressed in red flares and an odd, scary pink shirt. "Call me Otoutou, yeah." He giggled.

**Sasori grimaced at the sight of the pink shirt, but ruffled Deidara's hair anyway. "Yeah, yeah. Otoutou. You have to call me Anikii then."**

"Yeah!" Deidara's face was split in half now, with a toothy grin that didn't suit him. He added in a whisper, "I like this shirt, yeah. I might wear it under my uniform, yeah."

**"Oh, god, no. Please don't. I'd have to buy sunglasses." The gates were large and towering now, guards sitting to the sides, chatting idly. Sasori seemed hesitant with his steps, but he hid it, somehow.**

Deidara shook his head like a moron. "Nuhuh, aniki! I LIKE the pink, yeah!" As usual, an undertoned whisper added to the speech. "Was that okay, yeah?"

**"Just act normal, baka, if you add things in undertones they'll suspect something." Sasori's hushed tone could barely be heard over the loud chatter of the guards. He rolled his eyes, and ruffled Deidara's hair again. "Yeah, yeah, otoutou. Remind to get sunglasses while I'm here."**

Deidara bounced through the gates. He realised, that even with these henges, he was taller. That made him laugh. Everything made him laugh all of a sudden, it was probably the exhaustion. Or the haze of evaporating alcohol coming from that store.

**Sasori gave Deidara an odd look, while pressing between his shoulder blades to guide him along. "Geez, you're acting drunk. Do you have a secret stash of alcohol that I don't know about?"**

"Breathe the AIR, yeah!" Deidara cartwheeled in giddy glee. Three old women stopped to applaud him.

**Sasori rolled his eyes, grinning. "Come on, you crackpot. We need to find an inn. Or somewhere to camp."**

Deidara smiled faintly, and took Sasori's hand again. His eyes glinted. He leant forward, opened his mouth to say something of possible importance, but then he screamed (worryingly close to Sasori's ear) "HEY! YEAH! LOOK, AN INN!" He pointed madly, and ran towards it.

**Sasori yelped, clapping a hand to his ear. "JESUS!" He walked after Deidara, pouting and stroking his ear. "That bloody hurt..."**

Deidara was jogging on the spot infront of the counter. Behind it, a tired-looking teenager sat, smudging his eyeliner to tear-stained perfection. He was glaring at Deidara, possibly angered at his joy.

**Sasori walked in, and gave Deidara hefty whack to the head. "That /hurt!" He hissed. "One room please." He muttered gloomily to the teenager at the counter.**

The teenager looked up gloomily, seemingly very pissed off he had to work. He dug under the desk for some keys, held them out. He pointed solemnly at a board with prices on.

Deidara, meanwhile, was spinning on the spot, throwing and catching a wodge of clay.

**Sasori dug into his trousers, but could only find a sandwich. 'Oh, fuck.' He hoped his idea would work. He made some one handed seals, and the sandwich changed into notes. Sasori grinned, holding out a note to the teen, who took it and put it down on the counter. He took the keys, and walked down the hallway. He looked at the number on the key, and then at the door. He opened the door,** **and found that the room was tiny, and horror of horrors, pastel pink. At least it wasn't a double bed - it had two small bed on either side of the small room, the door to the bathroom between them.**

Deidara burst out laughing. "No wonder that guys so miserable, yeah!" He had a sudden thought. "I need a shower, then I'm going to bed, yeah?"

**"Alright." Sasori closed the door with his foot, and released the henge. He threw his cloak onto the nearest bed, collapsing on top of it. "This is my bed."**

Deidara happily danced into the bathroom, humming. The sound of a smoke bomb confirmed Deidara's release of the henge, and then the shower went on. "YEAH! FREE SHOWERGEL!" Deidara was one of those odd people who lived on free, tiny quantities of things. He would happily sleep anywhere, but the welcoming mint on a hotel pillow made him the happiest man in the world, for about twelve seconds.

**Sasori sighed into his pillow, shedding his trousers and climbing beneath the covers, snuggling into the mattress.**

Deidara was a fucking long time in the shower. His plan was to use all of the free shower goodies. And he was going to wash his hair, the horrible task that was. And then brush all of his teeth... And then he was going to bounce about and ruin the ugly peach bedspreads. Yeah, one hell of a plan.

**Sasori was half asleep, but the pattering on the shower kept him up. He finally sat up, and decided to fill his arm with more poison. He began to rummage through his cloak.**

Deidara had been spaced out for about ten minutes. His skin was now lobster-red from the boiling water, but he barely felt it. His hair was still soapy as fuck. He was too tired to move. He pondered sleeping in the bath, curled up. The thought of getting out, getting dry, getting semi-dressed, and then climbing into bed seemed too much. His hand mouths drooled. His eyes were clenched shut, to keep shampoo out of them, and that wasn't helping his consciousness. Perhaps bouncing about like a chipmunk on fast-forward was a dumb idea when you were low on chakra. Deidara shrugged inwardly, and willed his hands to move.

**Sasori found his bottle of poison, and pulled back a little slot. He pulled out a small tube, and tipped the poison slowly and carefully into the tube. He half emptied the bottle, then pulled the slot back into place. He went into the bathroom to rinse off his hands. He ignored Deidara as he poured the soap onto his hands, rubbing them together.**

Deidara froze. Someone was in here. In the back of his head he knew it was Sasori, but he still threw the soap at him. "Yeah, how long have I been here?"

**"I don't know, about half an hour?" He washed the soap off his hands, then looked at Deidara. "You look like a tomato with a yellow stem."**

Deidara shrugged. "'M a HAPPY tomato, yeah." But still, he turned the waters temperature down. And went about actually washing his hair, rather than just throwing soap at it and hoping.

**Sasori rolled his eyes, and turned back to the sink. He polished his face and then his arms. He went back into the bedroom, and collapsed onto his bed. He closed his eyes, and went into a very, very light sleep.**

Deidara emerged from his lengthy washing dressed in no less than three towels. One knotted around his waist, one tying his hair into a bundle sat atop his head. The third (a hand-towel) sat about his shoulders, catching all the drips from his hair and there were many. He walked straight to his bed, and fell in an ungraceful heap on it. The blanket was pulled over his legs, and he sighed contently.

**Sasori was awoken by the bed springs creaking. "Night, Dei..." He mumbled, falling back into a deeper sleep. **

**When Sasori woke up, he blinked, yawned, sat up. He looked around the room, his eyes half open. He hissed at the bright light, and shielded his eyes from the sun with one hand. He stumbled towards the bathroom, only to walk into the wall. He tried again, walking into the wall. Again. "GODDAMNIT MOTHERFUCKER!"**

Deidara was (needless to say) startled by this, and sat up shrieking. He too was blinded, but he did the most sensible thing a person would do in offered situation. He threw his pillow at the window and pushed his face back down into the mattress, groaning. "Why'd you have to wake me up, yeah?" His hair made a good curtain from the sun, though it hung in knots and kinks this morning. Going to bed with wet hair bad idea.

**Sasori glared at Deidara, his eyes twitching. "Shut the fuck up, blondie." He snarled, finally finding his way into the bathroom, and he splashed his face with water. "Ughn… I'm so TIRED." He grumbled. He stood up, and looked out of the window, only to find – "Itachi? What The fuck are you doing here?"**

"_To give you your mission briefing." He raised a hand; it held a neatly stapled wad of paper. "Information's all in here." Uninvited, he pulled the window open and stepped in. He glanced about the bleak blue bathroom. "Nice place you have here, to borrow a cliché or two." _

**Sasori glared, and pulled the paper from Itachi's grasp. He scanned the paper quickly, and smirked. "We're off the Kyuubi mission, then?" 'Oh, fucking brilliant excellent! No more fox hunting!'**

"_But of course. We do, after all, have a lot of time." Itachi glanced disgustedly at the blonde, yawning heap. "It's ten thirty, you should be up." _

Deidara sat bolt-upright upon sensing someone else's presence… He scrabbled at his face, tugging hair from his eyes. This took a very long time. When he could actually see, he came to find the Sharingan gazing idly at him. "Oh! Um, morning… Yeah." He lay back down, cheeks flushing. Of all the times to wake up with a mop on his head, wearing a fucking towel. Or at least he HOPED he was wearing a towel. Damned Itachi… What the hell was he doing here anyway? "Um, what the hell are you doing here, Ita—Uchiha-sama?"

"**He's here to give us a somewhat better mission than we are on now. Go and assassinate a perverse asshole who decided to give Leader-sama debt problems." 'No idea why we need to do Leader's dirty work for him…' Sasori grinned, and held the papers out to Deidara.**

_Itachi rose an eyebrow, shook his head, and jumped to the window, where he was met by Kisame, wearing a small, ridiculous hat with 'I 3 TEH GRAS' printed on it. Itachi glared, and pushed Kisame backwards out the window before jumping after him._

Deidara waited until he no longer felt the chakra of the Uchiha around before gathering the blankets around his waist and rising to accept the papers. His eyes flickered back and forth across the text, and his eyes widened slightly. "What the hell is EGL, yeah?" He gave up on tugging knots from his hair, and just tossed it all backwards. It made a slight "whumph" sound as it hit the wall.

"**Don't worry. I'll teach you." Sasori reached over, and patted Deidara's hair. "You really do need to either cut it, or brush it."**

Deidara's eyes widened in horror. "Cut my hair? Yeah, never! I've never cut my hair!" He actually looked shocked, which didn't suit him. He wandered casually to the bathroom, glad the towel had stayed with him through the night. He reached for one of the free hairbrushes, and started tugging at the blonde tangles. "I'll be about an hour, yeah."

"**Oh, fucking hell…" Sasori rolled his eyes, and went into the bathroom, turning on the shower. Hey, even puppets feel dirty.**

Deidara did ponder his urge to wash, but ignored it. He continued to pull strands of his hair, and rake them with the flimsy plastic brush. He tried to think of something to say, but failed miserably. He hummed lightly, doubting the other could hear him over the buzz of the shower.

**Stripping down, Sasori stepped into the shower, drawing the curtains. He squirted a dollop of shampoo onto his hand, massaging it into his hair, then washing it out quickly and carefully, being careful to wash out all the suds. He scrubbed violently at his shoulders and the nape of his neck, before he turned off the shower. About two minutes after he got into the shower. "Dei, hand me a towel please." He held out an arm from the shower curtain.**

Deidara paused in his complex combing acts, and reached for the towel rack, There was one left, a hand towel. He sniggered inwardly, and handed it to Sasori. "There you go, yeah."

**Sasori threw the towel at Deidara. "Give me your towel. A FULL SIZED towel, you complete fuckhead."**

Deidara tutted. "You just wanna watch me dance about wearing THAT? Bad, BAD Sasori-san!" He pulled the brush violently from his hair, and wandered back to the main room. "I'll put some pants on, there's a stupid idea."

"**Its not a stupid idea, fuckface. It's a GOOD idea." Sasori snarled, leaning against the shower wall.**

Deidara re-emerged, wearing his usual black cut-offs, and chucked his (damp) towel in the general area of the shower stall. He picked up his brush, and continued.

**Sasori leant out of the shower, grabbed the towel, and towelled all the water off him, scrubbing at his hair, and then wrapped the towel around his waist, stepping out of the shower and walking through the bathroom – only to slip in a random puddle of water. Landing in an ungraceful heap on the floor, his eye twitched as he proceeded to untangle himself and began to begin the process of standing up.**

Deidara quirked an eyebrow. He stood up and banged the brush on the sink. "DONE! YEAH!" He grinned broadly. He looked properly at the heap of… Um, Sasori. "Very graceful, yeah."

"**Tch." Sasori stood up, and walked out of the bathroom, glaring at the window, like it was the cause for his ego depletion. He put on a pair of boxers, and then his Akatsuki uniform on over that. He cast the same henge as yesterday – the older, strange hair-coloured version of Sasori.**

Deidara reached for the free toothbrush supplied with the room, and began cleaning his hand teeth. "Yeah, we have plenty of time. Do I need the same henge for this mission?"

"**I don't actually think you'll need to do much of a henge at all. But I'll probably have to keep this henge. You'll just need EGL." Sasori snickered softly, his eyes glinting evilly.**

Deidara pouted, and his left hand spat foam. He moved swiftly onto the other palm, and raised an eyebrow. "You still haven't told me what EGL is, yeah."

"**I'll tell you when we get the necessary equipment, Dei." Sasori suddenly could not contain the evil, and cackled. Long and hard.**

Deidara's face fell. His hand spat toothpastey water at Sasori childishly. Deidara poked out three tongues. "That doesn't sound right, why can't you do it?"

"**Because… you look the part more, and it would take less chakra. For me, it's a different story." Sasori instantly had a straight face on. A mask over his giggle fit. But bear in mind, it was an EVIL giggle fit.**

Deidara sighed, and gave up on the idea of flossing. He crossed the room lightly, and hunted for his hair tie. He hated wearing his hair down, it got in the way of the most simple actions. For example, eating. And it made him look like a skank, he thought. Aha! Fingers closed on a bandage, and he wrapped half of his hair into it's high ponytail. A slight tinge of memory reminded him of yesterdays braid. "Um, Sasori?"

"**Hnn?" Sasori grunted, turning his attention and gaze to Deidara. A questioning, yet EVIL gaze.**

"Please tell me you can plait hair, yeah." Deidara struggled to remember how braids even WENT, the thought of doing one himself seemed a bit hard.

**Sasori rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Come over here, sit on the bed."**

Deidara plonked down on the bed, and remembered his toplessness. Oh well. He tugged the tie from his hair and offered it to Sasori. "Sorry, I forgot how I did it yesterday, yeah." He cringed slightly.

**Sasori divided Deidara's thick, blonde hair into three sections, and deftly began to wind the hair together, forming a somewhat neat braid.**

Deidara sat, staring somewhat blankly forward. He wondered vaguely that it was odd Sasori knew how to plait. But he shrugged it off, as it made life easier. He giggled slightly, remembering the pink shirt.

**Sasori finished the plait, leaving a large tuft of hair at the end. He pulled a bandage from the confines of his cloak, and folded the plait on itself. He then tied up the braid, and left it tightly wrapped with the small tuft of hair poking from the bandages. Sasori grinned. "There you go."**

Deidara had no idea what had happened to his hair, but decided it didn't matter. He grinned, knowing two words that would ruin Sasori's good mood. "Pink shirt, yeah."

"**Oh, god no. I guess I'm going to have to endure it. It'll be worth the EGL, I guess. Infact, it will DEFINITELY be worth the EGL." The evil glint of the eye was back. If Sasori was any eviller, the Devil would give up his job.**

Deidara glared. "What IS that? For gods sake, yeah." He pressed his hands together, and the ugly pants and shirt were back.

**Sasori rolled his eyes. "Come on, Dei. Lets get going." He opened the door, and motioned for Deidara to leave first.**

Deidara sighed, pulling on his shoes. He grabbed his bag, and stood up. "Yeah, okay."

**Sasori rolled his eyes, walking out towards the front desk, and leaving the keys there. The emo teen looked at Sasori, for lack of a better word, emo-ishly, and handed him a package. "Weird man left this for you. Said it was for the EGLing." Sasori grinned, "Thank you. Otoutou, I'm leaving you behind!" He dumped the keys on the desk, and walked out of the inn, expecting Deidara to zoom after him any second.**

Deidara shot a grin at the emo kid, and raced after Sasori. "OPEN IT! Open it, yeah!"

"**No. Wait until we get to the next inn. We're heading towards Sand, but its some strange town that nobody has ever heard of. So its back the way we came." Sasori grinned.**

Deidara tutted. "Aniki, that's so mean!" But he turned, and started sprinting off down the road. "TO SAND, YEAH!"

"**God, calm down, Otoutou..." He tucked his hands behind his head, watching Deidara sprinting down the street – in an odd hairstyle and a pink shirt. A pink, floral shirt. A SCARY pink, floral shirt.**

Deidara paused in his running, and screeched to a hault. He put his hands on his hips, and pointed at the strolling Sasori (miles away) and screamed. "HURRY UP, ANIKI!"

"**You need to slow down, not me hurry up." But despite himself, he started jogging, leisurely, towards Deidara. The scary, floral pink shirt guided him.**

Deidara seemed all too aware that his shirt acted as a lighthouse, the glare of magenta shining all too happily. He tapped his foot, waiting for the other.

**Sasori finally caught up to Deidara, then broke off into a sprint, using a small amount of chakra to make him run faster. "Cant catch me, Otoutou!"**

Deidara giggled uselessly, and easily matched Sasori's speed. "Too fast, yeah!" He stuck his tongue out, and ran faster.

**Sasori lengthened his strides, and sped out of the Konoha gates, almost toppling over a Konoha chuunin with a scar over the bridge of his nose. Several of the guards shouted after him, but none bothered to chase. He cackled, and skidded to a halt suddenly, spinning on the spot and collapsing onto his arse, giggling madly.**

Deidara giggled like a nutcase. He threw himself into a cartwheel, legs drooping slightly. So he just fell into a pink and yellow bundle, and rolled into Sasori. The chuunin were no longer worried, now just assuming they were drunk. Or mad. Deidara placed his hands on the floor, and pushed himself into a crouch. He tried to keep a straight face, to speak, but the laughter wouldn't stop coming.

**Sasori bit his bottom lip, and in an extremely tipsy fashion got to his feet and held a hand out to Deidara to help him up.**

"**Come on... We have to get to the Wind country within the next week... and doing this isn't going to get us anywhere." Sasori broke into another fit of giggles, shaking with laughter.**

Deidara shook his head, still chuckling uselessly. He took Sasori's hand, and tugged himself to his feet. "Yeah, yeah…"

**Sasori finally managed to calm his giggles, and he had a straight face on again. Well, not exactly a straight face. A trace of a smirk was still there – but only a very, very small smirk.**

Deidara just followed after Sasori, tossing his braid over his shoulder. He was still laughing softly. "Sasori-san? Can you remember why we were laughing at all, yeah?"

"**No. I don't, unfortunately. Come on." Sasori began walking, looking up at the sky, which was blue and cloudless. No rain – hurrah!**

Deidara followed, his flip-flops clacking on the pavement. He gazed forward, searching for something pretty to look at. "Sasori-san, you have yet to tell me what EGL is… Yeah." He grinned cheerily at the other, He tugged his shirt straight, and quirked an eyebrow.

"**I said when we get to the next inn. And unless we fly, we aren't getting to Wind in one day." 'EGL so is brilliant for manipulative things. And I wont hurt my feet.' His little mental image of himself was cackling and rubbing his hands together. But his face remained the way it was – stoic with the trace of a smirk.**

"Flying, yeah? Pah." Deidara made an odd face. "it's way too tiring." He scowled lightly. "Sand is so far away…"

"**Yeah. Very far away. And Sand is where you'll find out what EGL is..." Sasori glanced over at Deidara. "So far away…."**

Deidara stomped a foot in frustration. "MEANIE!"

"**I know I am, Dei." Sasori smirked smugly, then looked behind him. "Feh. Gates are out of sight now." He released his henge, and became Sasori again.**

Deidara shrugged. "I would change, but…" He grinned. "I do love this shirt, yeah."

"**I'm glad you like pink, Dei." Sasori's eyes glinted. "There's a clue to what EGL is."**

Deidara scowled. "I wish I could remember what you said about this mission, yeah." He'd missed out on the actual briefing, hiding under the quilt from Itachi. He sighed, and with the trademark smoke screen, he was regular Deidara. Albeit Deidara with a plait. "This uniform… Kinda comforting, yeah?"

"**I guess." Sasori shrugged. "We are meant to assassinate a PERVERSE old man. Who has a thing for little children. More clues for EGL there."**

Deidara scowled. "I don't like the sound of that at all, yeah."

"**I'm not sure you'll like what EGL is then. And here I was thinking you'd enjoy it." Sasori grinned, glancing sideways at the scowling Deidara. "I had to do it once, and I actually enjoyed it."**

Deidara frowned. "Sounds kinda dirty to me, yeah." He pouted, trying to figure it out. "Yeah, this is gonna drive me mad."

"**That's a good thing. Sasori TV! Brand new entertainment channel – LIVE!" Sasori chuckled. "I'm going to enjoy this."**

Deidara tutted some more. "I might just not talk for a bit, yeah. Need to do some thinking." He shook his head. "I don't want to be wound up all the way to sand… Yeah."

**Sasori grinned. "Well, you can think while we speed up. We might get to the borders of Wind by dusk, if we're lucky." Sasori jumped into the branches of a tree, and took off, jumping from branch to branch.**

Deidara stayed true to his word, not responding. He was humming, but he generally was. He took after Sasori, able to match his steps idly. It was kind of unnerving, as he didn't seem to be looking.

**Sasori glanced over at Deidara, and quirked a brow. He shook his head, and focused on the steps and jumps between the trees.**


	2. Fitz Hanz

**Sasori jumped to a halt, and collapsed backwards onto his behind. "I'm tired…" He fell backwards onto his back, and crossed his eyes, poking his tongue out. "I'm very, very tired…"**

Deidara snapped out of his trance, blinking." Yeah, we should rest." He tossed his pack onto the ground, and crossed his legs. "Where are we and what time is it, yeah?"

"**I don't know what the time is, but we're pretty much in Wind now. There's sand instead of grass, so, yeah." Sasori shrugged off his cloak, stretching his wings out and tucking them over the closed wires compartment in his stomach. He unbuttoned the cloak all the way down, and draped it over himself. "Night, Dei. I'm going to sleep now. Good luck at trying to think of what EGL is."**

Deidara scowled, but lay on his side. He let his eyes close. "Why'd you have to go and say that? I'd nearly forgotten, yeah." Sullen Deidara wasn't very fun. Except for mocking.

**Sasori grinned, closing his eyes and trying to sleep. But before that – "See you in the morning."**

Deidara couldn't sleep. If it made any sense, he was too tired to sleep. So he just lay there, with sand between his toes, trying not to think of Itachi. Fucking stupid, sexy Itachi.

**Sasori cracked an eye open, watching Deidara twitch in annoyance. Something told him that he wasn't irritated by the EGL puzzle. But, then again, it wasn't his business. So he just shut down his brain, and went into a doze-meditate-like-thing.**

Deidara didn't sleep. At all. He just lay there for about seven hours, counting the stars and picking sand out of wherever sand was. He did feel a bit mean getting up and poking Sasori, but if he had to stay still, and NOT think of the idle sharingan gaze for another second, he'd snap.

**Sasori groaned. "Whadyawant?" He stretched, and looked at Deidara, his eyes vacant of any emotion. A big, grey VOID of NOTHING.**

Deidara sighed. "It's morning, yeah. About eight, yeah." The bags under his eyes hardly matched his jolly tone. He wasn't really disturbed by the eyes, he had accustomed himself to sharingan and pupiless yellow glares.

**Sasori yawned, and scratched the back of his head. "Alright, I'm up." He stood up, swinging his cloak on. "We're close to the town, I think. We'll just have to look." He yawned again, and then looked at Deidara. "Did you sleep at all? You look like shit."**

Deidara pouted. "Thanks a lot, yeah. No, I didn't." He sighed, yawned, and started walking.

"**What kept you up?" Sasori traced the bags with his fingers. "You seemed irritated." He wasn't going to bring up EGL unless Deidara used it as an excuse. **

Deidara leant into the touch, sighing. "If it makes any sense, I couldn't forget something." He leant on Sasori, and bit back a yawn. "Yeah, let's go. Nearly at sand."

**Sasori put an arm on Deidara's shoulders, just in case he decided to fall over from exhaustion. "What couldn't you forget? You've seemed kinda off since Itachi appeared at our window. Something to do with him?"**

Deidara was grateful for the extra support, but the question ruined his happy moment. "I don't want to talk about it, yeah." He hung his head slightly. "Is that okay?"

"**Hnn." Sasori started walking, at his usual slow pace. "You know that it's bad to bottle things up, right? I'm not going to try and pressure you into anything, but you shouldn't do that. It gets to you, big time."**

Deidara shook his head. "I'm used to it, it's okay." He walked idly. "Then I find out what an old perv wants with me, yeah." He laughed softly.

**Sasori glanced over at Deidara, and smiled. "I'm glad you're finally enthusiastic about finding out. I was expecting the immediate bombarding of questions as soon as I sat up."**

Deidara smiled, happy for a change of subject. "Naah, we're near enough to sand." He looked at the sky, sighing, "Yeah, more important things to think about."

**Sasori grinned. "Like what?"**

"Mission, Sasori-san! Mission, yeah!" He stuck his tongue out. "Geez, what did you think I meant?"

"**There are lots of somewhat important things in the world, Dei." Sasori shrugged. "Well, anyway. We should really henge soon." Sasori stretched again, agitated. The scratched sand hitai-ate around his neck glinted. The source of his agitation. He formed some hand seals, and became a completely different person – red haired, with a high ponytail and a very masculine face.**

Deidara made a face at Sasori's new hairstyle, and shrugged uselessly. "Anything in particular, Sasori-san?"

"**A girl, around 16. You don't need to change that any more, really. Come up with as much hideous clothes as you want, you wont be noticed. Too many tourists that wear strange things for anyone to notice."**

Deidara frowned. "A girl? I really don't like the sound of that, yeah." But he obediently formed the hand seals necessary. He blinked mascara'd eyes, and frowned. "Ridiculous enough, yeah?" The same pink shirt, a mesh sweater and tight grey pants. He, um, she put hands on hips and grinned.

"**Hideous enough, indeed. But you're pretty enough for the mission, so hey." They entered the Sand gates, the guards giving them suspicious looks but not bothering with them. Conveniently, the inn was close to the gates. It was a roomy, cottage-y place, all tans and white. A pleasant old woman sat behind the counter, smiling. He put a note on the table, and the woman handed him a key. He walked along the hallway, and came to their door. Opening the door, Sasori looked around, and found a white room with white furniture, and a peach carpet. With a large double bed in the centre. Releasing his henge, he sighed, and chucked the package from under his cloak onto the bed. "Knock yourself out with opening the package."**

Deidara was a blonde whirlwind, up the stairs, through the door and straight onto said box. He lay on his back, and tore through cardboard and paper.

Pink material suddenly obscured his vision.

**Sasori snickered relentlessly. "I think you get the idea of EGL now."**

**  
**Deidara pulled magenta away from his eyes, and shrieked. "PANTIES? WHAT THE HELL, YEAH?" He rifled through the pile of fabric on the bed. A mini skirt, a corset. Stockings, suspenders. A ridiculous sweater with huge sleeves. A note. He glared at the note, and read it.

ENJOY YOURSELVES, BITCHES ;D

ENCLOSED IS A CAMERA AND LIPGLOSS. MAKE GOOD USE OF THEM. 

K 

Deidara glared at Sasori. "Crossdressing, yeah? GOD DAMN YOU ALL!" He fell backwards, not sure whether to laugh or cry.

**Sasori burst into laughter. "Come on, we better get you into all of this stuff." His smirk grew. "Release the henge." **

Deidara shot him a venomous look, but sat up anyway. "Do you even know how to lace a corset, yeah?"

"**I do. I had the same mission at one point, and Orochimaru needed help with his. I was too wooden." He smirked, and quirked a brow. "Come on, get the undergarments on. I wont look." He added mockingly.**

Deidara glared at the offending item, but stood and shed his clothes anyway. The poof of smoke confirmed his gender once more. "Hey, why couldn't I stay a girl?" He frowned as he put one leg into them. Miles away, he tried to tell himself. I'm miles away, flying. I am not dressing up like a woman to get into bed with a octogenarian. But he was snapped back to reality as he fell over onto the bed, now suitably clad in fucking neon pink knickers.

**Sasori smirked, and picked up the corset. He wrapped it around Deidara's chest. "Take a very deep breath."**

Deidara was busy worrying about suspenders to notice until there were suddenly metal clasps against his skin. But he obediently sucked in air. Not too much, as he knew he needed oxygen to whine like a teenage girl. "This sucks, yeah."

**Sasori threaded the laces through the eyelets. He got to the top for the second time, and then pressed his knee against Deidara's lower back and pulled hard.**

Deidara coughed. So much for breathing. "Eeeh.. What the hell was that for? It's not like I'm fat, yeah…" He spluttered a bit.

**Sasori rolled his eyes. "No, you're not fat. But the corsets slip otherwise." He tied a neat bow, and then realized his mistake. "Oh, dear." He took out the bow, and pulled off the corset. "Sorry. I forgot, you need to put the rest on first.." He trailed off, scratching the back of his head. "Lets start with the sweater." He picked it up, and shoved it over Deidara's head.**

Deidara sighed and pushed his arms through the sleeves. "So not looking forward to being strapped into that again, yeah."

**Sasori grinned, wrapping the corset around Deidara's chest again. "Deep breath, Dei..."**

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" He sighed, and sucked in a lot more oxygen than necessary. If he held his breath right, he might not die when it was fastened.

**Sasori slotted the laces through again, and placed his knee in Deidara's lower back, again. And pulled – a bit harder. But of course, not on purpose.**

Deidara squawked in protest. "What now?" He panted out, fanning himself. The circulation to his brain seemed a lot worse than usual. His head spun, tumbled and rolled. All at once.

**Sasori sighed apologetically. "The stockings, then the suspenders. And then the skirt and the boots." He held up the stockings, which alternated from black cotton to neon pink fishnet in stripes. "Do you want to put them on yourself?"**

Deidara sighed. He felt like a doll, a whorish doll. He'd always hated Barbie, but now he felt sorry for her. "Yeah…" He tugged the material up to his thighs, and glared at the suspenders. "I don't know how they work, yeah…" He was considering blushing, but that wouldn't help at all.

**Sasori grinned, and clipped the suspenders onto the stockings, and then buckled the front up. He went round behind Deidara, and buckled it up at the back. He picked up the skirt, and brandished it. "Now, for this." He looked at the black material, with white lace and layered with magenta netting. Lots of it. As he searched through the many layers for the end, lipgloss fell from one of the holes. He put it to one side, and sighed. "Where the hell are your legs meant to go through? I cant find the hole…"**

Deidara took the skirt, and shoved his hand through the bottom. He extended his fingers from the other side, and poked out a tongue "There, yeah." Deidara lay back on the bed and just wrenched the skirt up his waist. He stood and tied the bows, twisting it to sit on his hips. "Another fucking belt, yeah. Just what I need." He took a few experimental steps, and frowned. "This doesn't even cover the panties, for gods sake."

"**I'm not sure its meant to." Sasori shrugged, and rummaged through the torn cardboard box, were he found the camera – a cheap disposable – and the eyeliner. "Come here, I need to put the makeup on." Seizing the eyeliner and lip gloss, he gestured for Deidara to sit next to him.**

Deidara sat down awkwardly, and sighed. "Do I look away, or look at you, or what?" He tossed his hair over his shoulder where it couldn't get caught in the clasps of his corset. "Yeah, this sucks."

"**Look at me." He dipped his finger into the lip gloss, and applied it to Deidara's lips. When he was done with that, he grabbed the eyeliner and carefully drew around Deidara's eyes, trying not to poke him in the eye.**

Deidara tried to stay fixed staring at the small dent in Sasori's cheek, but it was so hard. Sasori's face was so serious all of a sudden. He sat, waiting for the pull away from his face that meant it was done. The wait was very awkward, and Deidara kept pulling his skirts down. He had a sad, hollow feeling that they were meant to show the straps holding his stockings up. Then Sasori's (cold) hand left his cheek, and he blinked, warily. His fingers smudged the eyeliner a bit, making a bit less shaky. "I feel so stupid, yeah." His voice was shaking, too.

"**Hey, don't feel stupid. The mission is in your hands – if you screw up, there's every chance that either of us will get caught and killed. If you don't, everything with go smoothly, and everything will be dandy." He smiled awkwardly. "Anyways – the guy's name is Fitz Hanz. Ridiculous name, I know. He's in his late forties, grey hair, smokes like a chimney. I'll take you to his hotel, and will be waiting outside the room for you. You're a rich girl, and I'm you're bodyguard. You're name is Lilly, and I'm Carlos. Got it?"**

"I guess…." Deidara looked at the shoes in horror. He put his feet into them, and tugged uselessly at the straps. "Help… Yeah?"

**Sasori pulled the straps over Deidara's legs, and tied a bow at the back of each. "One last touch." He pulled Deidara's hair out of the braid and found a magenta ribbon strewn on the bed. He picked it up, and did a tight ponytail, with the pink ribbon peeking from all the yellow. He made sure that the scope was covered well, and grinned. He picked up the camera, and stood. "Pose."**

Deidara glared at the camera. He threw a pillow at Sasori. "No way in hell, yeah." He tugged a little at the new hairstyle, but then hid his face in his hands. "No pictures, yeah."

**"Aww, come on. One for the scrapbooks. Please? And the next time something embarrassing happens, you can take a picture of it. Pleaaaase?" Sasori grinned innocently.**

Deidara shook his head, blushing furiously. "Nothing embarrassing will happen to you, yeah. But knock yourselves out." He laughed a bit, though it sounded forced. He stood up, put a hand on his hip, and shot the camera a ridiculous grin.

**Sasori smiled, and the flash went off as he pressed the button. "There, see? Wasn't too bad. And I promise, Kisame won't get near this picture, or this camera."**

Deidara scowled. "Then what's the point? For you to pull out at my fourtieth birthday?" He tried walking about in his shoes, sighing. "Why don't they hurt?"

**"I don't know. Maybe because they aren't those weird little kitty heels."**

Deidara raised an eyebrow. "I don't even know what you're talking about, yeah."

**"You know, the stalk heels. Never mind." Sasori sighed. "Come on, then. Target's staying at a hotel a small way from here." He henged into the same person, but wearing a suit. Think Rude/Reno.**

Deidara raised an eyebrow at Sasori's new outfit, but decided not to mention the word "stupid" while he was wearing suspenders. "I'll follow you, yeah, um, Carlos." He sniggered quietly at this.

**"Yes/Lilly-chan/." Sasori chuckled, and left the room, leaving the door open for Deidara.**

Deidara had to walk carefully in his heels. Too carefully, it annoyed him when he slipped slightly and his shoes clanked on the floor. He bet that Itachi had refused this mission, and that's why they were stuck with it. It sucked, he thought wearily. But he held himself straight and was careful to keep his hands covered. Stairs were a pain, though he doubted the old lady was peeking up his skirt. He remembered the skirt, and a small piece of his soul died.

**"C'mon. We're gonna be late." Sasori smiled, holding out his hand to Deidara.**

Deidara extended his hand, appreciating the skin against his. He walked closer to Sasori. He dropped his voice to a (cute sounding) whisper. "So what am I going to kill him with? My non-stabby shoes, yeah?"

**"Be imaginative, use chakra nails to claw out his windpipe, slice off his head. Have fun. Just make sure its quiet, alright? As long as he's dead, it's fine. And don't blow him up, unless its a silent explosive." Sasori whispered back, bending down to talk directly into Deidara's ear.**

"Yeah, yeah... I'll use my imagination..." Deidara fluffed the ends of his ponytail idly, obviously a bit worried.

**"Don't worry, if anything bad happens just call for me. I'll finish it off." Sasori squeezed his hand lightly. "I promise."**

Deidara smiled. "Yeah." His face cracked. "I just had a thought, where the hell did Kisame get these clothes?" He grimaced, obviously the thought of Hoshigaki Kisame and miniskirts did NOT go down well.

**Sasori chuckled. "He likes brothels. Alot."**

Deidara made a face. "Ew."

**"That's what I told him. Then he got Sameheda out. So I ran." Sasori shrugged, and looked up at the hotel, which was large, white and swanky. It looked more like an apartment block. "You ready?"**

"As I'll ever be." Deidara pushed his hair back, and sighed. He squeezed Sasori's fingers. "I'm still a bit nervous, yeah. So why am I there, yeah?"

**"To break it to you gently, why'd you think you're dressed whorish, exactly?" Sasori bit the inside of his lip, frowning.**

Deidara hung his head, blushing. "I got THAT part, yeah. But what do I tell Mr, um, person?"

**"Its the job desc. to call him Sir, just to let you know... and he doesn't really expect you to say anything. So, that's alright. He strike up conversation, go along with it." Sasori shrugged uncomfortably. "We should really go in... I'll wait outside the room, as I said before."**

"Okay..." Deidara did his best to look girlish and shy rather than angry and nervous. He tried to will his palms into not-sweating, and walked towards the entrance.

**Sasori followed, pushing open the door. He walked up to the counter, where a woman with smart glasses was sitting, drooling over something on the screen. Sasori peered round, and saw the hard-core Yaoi displayed on the screen. He gave a small cough, and the woman yelped, closing the window. "Wh-what can I do for you, sir?" Sasori rolled his eyes. "A Mr. Fitz Hanz requested Lilly." The woman coughed, and pointed to the elevator. "Get to the 2nd floor, it's the only door there." Sasori nodded, and tugged on Deidara's hand softly, walking towards the elevator.**

Deidara followed on shaky legs, taking deep breaths. He waited idly for the elevator, and stepped into it. "Sasori-danna?" He whispered, as the other stood next to him.

**Sasori was shocked. "What?" 'Where the hell did danna come from.'**

Deidara wrapped his arms around Sasori's neck. "I'm scared, I'm wearing a skirt. If I don't act fast enough I'm gonna be raped. I can barely breathe in this FUCKING EVIL corset, these shoes are cutting off circulation to my calves, and I need you." He whispered this all dangerously fast, head resting on the others collarbone.

**"Its alright..." Sasori wrapped his arms around Deidara. "I'm just outside. If something goes wrong, I'll help you. I promised, remember?" He frowned, and rubbed Deidara back in a way he hoped was soothing.**

"Yeah... The safety word is "aaaargh"..." He giggled quietly, and kissed the side of Sasori's neck. He went to speak, but the ping of the elevator interrupted him. So he just shuffled out. He placed both hands on his face, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

_The door opened, and a man in his late forties appeared, blinking large blue eyes that were obviously contact lenses, considering the cyan block colour. He smiled at Deidara. "Ahh, you're here! I thought you'd never come." He was dressed in a almost-pink white shirt, and a pair of unbuttoned jeans. He was slim, but with no muscles. He had some stubble around his mouth, but it was barely noticable._

Deidara tried to force a flirty grin, it came out like syrup. No, it came out like CALPOL. Pink and sticky and comforting, yet utterly useless. He bowed slightly. "Sir." Yeah, play it out a bit. Wait till he was annoying enough to kill.

**Sasori nodded to Hanz, frowning. He leant next to the door and glared at the opposite wall and elevator.**

_Hanz smiled, and put a hand on Deidara's shoulder, pulling him softly into the room. He slid one hand up Deidara's skirt as he closed the door, groping at his ass. "You look very cute..." He whispered into his ear. "Very cute..."_

Deidara tried very hard not to bite. He had to be CUTE, and SHY. At no point in his plan was he going to bite, kick or punch. He didn't scream in anguish when a hand cupped his butt, he just gasped. Over all, Deidara thought he was doing a pretty good job. And, best of all, the word "Zero" hadn't crossed his mind yet. Fuck. Zero Kanji on Leader-sama's ring.

_He smirked, and placed kisses along Deidara's jawline, his tongue coming out to lick the places he had kissed. He caught Deidara's hand in his own, and led him in towards the bedroom. "We should really take this to a more suitable place, hmm?"_

Deidara made little whimper sounds. Damnit, he wasn't here to TALK. The bastard got three more sentences. Deidara amused himself to bring back his sickly smile by reasoning when "Hanz" was dead, Deidara was going to jump up and down on his face. He went sort of limp, waiting for the shove backwards. He hated landing on beds, more than he hated waking up alone.

_He sat down on the bed and pulled Deidara towards him, pulling him onto his lap. His skilled hands pulling at the corset strings, he leant in, pressing his chest against Deidara's, resting his head in the crook of his neck._

Deidara felt the hand go for his corset. Fuck. 'Noo! Not there!' He wriggled away, feigning embarrassment. Right, it was decided. Chakra strings around the stomach, easier to perform discreetly.

_Hanz smiled, and pulled Deidara back. "No need to be shy..." He growled, pulling out the bow with a swift tug. "You've had many more people do this to you, haven't you? I'm no different..." He began loosening the rest of the corset strings._

Deidara counted mentally. Three. Marvellous. He wrapped his arms around the guys waist, pressed his fingers together, and pulled them apart. He pulled them hard, so there was a sound like tinfoil breaking. He brought the hands to the guys sides, readied his fingers. Next move was a jump backwards and a hard tug forward. But, to make this guys death worse, he bit his nose. "I'm a guy, yeah." He said quietly, and pushed off the bed. Despite the heels, he landed on both feet with a soft "thud". He grinned. "Last words?"

_Hanz was shocked, and drew in breath. He was so shocked, he didn't speak. His eyes were wide, and one of the contacts fell out, exposing his brown eye colour. He was trembling, like he anticipated death - but with fear of death embedded into his expression._

Deidara grinned wide. "Good, yeah. Never mess with an Akatsuki." He whispered this sexily, and drew his fingers together in a clap. Then pulled his arms to his chest. The blue wire cut through flesh easily, sawing through bone. Deidara watched the two halves of him fall to the floor. He tugged his skirts down to cover his panties, and wandered to the kitchen. He drew a kitchen knife from the drawer, and jammed it into Hanz's eye. He stood up straight, kicked him in the face, and spun on his heel. He crossed the bedroom happily, and opened the door to the hallway with a small "Ta-daah". There was blood on his hands, and he was beaming.

**Sasori winced at the sight of Deidara, and grabbed his hands, wiping them on his black blazer. "Come on. Lets just close the door. Nothing's happened." He closed the door softly, and then called for an elevator. "I hope he didn't get too far."**

"Nope. He got six sentences, yeah." He leant on Sasori happily, and reached for his hand.

**Sasori smiled, grasping Deidara's hand and squeezing it lightly. "I think you'll need a shower." Sasori smiled. The elevator doors opened, and he stepped inside, poking the G button.**

"Yeah, and YOU can brush my hair this time, yeah." Deidara was in a better mood now he'd seen a little blood. Death always cheered him up, and he had no idea why.

**Sasori smiled as the doors closed, the elevator steadily dropped downwards, and finally it came to the ground floor. "Let's get back to the inn." He grinned and clicked his shoulder.**

Deidara smiled casually, and sped up his pace slightly as they crossed the foyer. "Yeah, I want out of this fucking corset."

"**It does look uncomfortable." Sasori grinned, and pushed open the door, stepping out into the just-past-noon light. He clicked his shoulders again, and continued walking down the high street, back towards the inn.**

Deidara broke out into a jog. "Uncomfortable doesn't cover it, yeah. Next time, YOU wear the miniskirt."

**"I will. It does look fun." Sasori chuckled, lengthening his strides to keep up with Deidara.**

Deidara grinned. "And I WILL show Kisame the photos." He slowed down a little, and sighed, waiting for Sasori to catch up. He scratched his eyelid idly.

**"That's mean. I'm not showing Kisame your photos." He entered the inn, and climbed up the stairs. He opened the door, and ran over to the bed, releasing henge in mid-leap.**

Deidara squeaked in joy. "I can BREATHE! YEAH!" His fingers were undoing the clasps on his suspenders, kicking off the loose stockings.

**Putting his arms around Deidara's waist, he unbuckled the skirt. "That's good."**

Deidara smiled. He waited for Sasori to lift the fabric, snatched it off him, and threw it in his face. "Now run me a bath." He giggled some more.

**"Fine, fine." Sasori stood up, and went into the bathroom, turning on the cold taps full blast and left the hot taps on a soft drizzle.**

Deidara had tied his hair up messily. He sat down on the bed and grinned like a maniac. "I am NEVER doing that again, yeah."

**"What, dance around in your boxers? No more Sasori TV..." Sasori pouted mockingly.**

Deidara whacked him lightly across the arm. "No, cross-dress." His eyes glinted with... Something. "Did you put bubbles in the water?"

**"No. Go and put them in yourself, because I've now decided this bed is comfortable." Sasori smirked, lying down on the bed and tucking his hands behind his head.**

Deidara made a small excited noise. "I say five then, yeah." He liked bubbles. He liked bubbles a whole lot.

**Sasori chuckled and half closed his eyes, listening to Deidara's squeals of happiness.**

Deidara sat on the side of the bath, kicking bubbles about with his feet. "You're not gonna try and sleep, yeah? If you are, yeah, I'll shut up."

**"Nah. Its not even dusk yet, and I've had enough sleep. I enjoy listening to you squeal anyways."**

Deidara laughed. "How perverse, yeah." He turned the hot water up some more, and removed his boxers. Further squeaking happened, as Deidara realised how hot the fucking water was. But he submerged, blowing bubbles happily.

**Sasori chuckled. "I'm guessing you like the bath, hnn?" He felt the urge to go in and sit in the bathroom to watch Deidara - but he refrained.**

Deidara didn't really hear, but there was a slight rumble of voice. He blew a few more bubbles in response.

**Hearing the blowing of bubbles in response, Sasori shook his head. He began inspecting his arms for splinters, and then looked at his nails - which had lots of chipped nail varnish on them. Sasori grimaced, and began to search through his cloak for a spare vial of purple polish.**

Deidara sat up, and inhaled some much-needed oxygen. He wiped soap out of his eyes, and sighed. "Sasori? Come talk to me... Bored, yeah."

**Sasori finally found the nail polish, and went through to the bathroom, sitting down by the bath as he unscrewed the lid.**

Deidara smiled dazedly at the other. He shrugged. "I had something to say, yeah... But I forgot." He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Let me do it, yeah." He held out his hands for the bottle, and gestured Sasori closer.

**Sasori held the unscrewed bottle to Deidara, and draped his hands over the rim of the bath, shuffling closer. He smiled. "Just tell me when you remember what you were going to say."**

Deidara nodded, and leant in to Sasori's hands. He painted too fast, it was annoying. He finished one hand, and bit his lip. "It couldn't be important if I've just let it go, yeah." He shrugged idly, and started on the other hand. "So, um... Yeah. Your turn to think of something to say."

**"Hnn... Why were you acting weird when Itachi appeared? You hid under the covers and refused to meet his gaze." Sasori had been bugged by this for quite a while, and decided to revive the old conversation.**

Deidara shook his head, and looked away. Wet hair hung in the way of his face. Sasori's left hand remained unpainted. Deidara wet his lips, tried to force the words out. "Itachi... I..." He shook his head again, biting his lip. "We used to..." He waved a hand. "I can't say... It hurts, yeah."

**Sasori's heavy lidded eyes blinked. "It wont hurt any more to say it." He blew on his right hand, shaking the nails dry.**

Deidara sighed, and leant towards Sasori's other hand. He dipped the brush in the bottle, and started painting. "I think I loved him once, yeah... We used to sleep together a lot..." His cheeks flushed, but his hand remained steady as he moved onto Sasori's third finger. "But now he just... Disregards me, treats me like trash. That's what hurts... Yeah, now you think I'm a whore, right?" He gripped Sasori's thumb a bit too tightly as he smoothed purple down the "nail".

**"No. It happens to everyone. Itachi isn't the type to stick to someone like glue. As far as I know, he's been fucked by Kisame for at least a year now." His right hand was dry now, and he rested his elbow on his knee, balancing his chin on his palm.**

Deidara nodded quietly, and lay back in the water. Bubbles splashed over the sides, but he didn't really care. "I think Zetsu is the only one out of us who HASN'T had sex with Itachi, yeah." An arm emerged from the foam, and he grabbed the soap.

**"I haven't. Orochimaru tried to rape him, and got the shit beaten out of him." Sasori seemed to find this funny, as a grin was plastered on his face. "He got pissed when I refused to heal his wounds. It was really quite amusing."**

Deidara smiled faintly. "Oh." He sat up, stretching his neck. "So you and Orochimaru got along? He was a total jerk to me and Zetsu-chan, yeah."

**"He was fun to tease. Nothing more. I didn't ever show myself in this form. He probably would have molested me." Sasori rolled his eyes, and shook his left hand out to dry, blowing on it softly. "Do you need your nails done?"**

Deidara shook his head. "When I get out, yeah." He dropped the soap into the water, watching it sink around his ankles. "Which will be when I wake up again, yeah." He brought his knees to his chest, hugged his calves and rested his head.

**"It's not sensible to go to sleep in the bath. Just get dried off, and go to sleep in a bed. Like everyone else." Sasori rolled his eyes, leaning against the rim of the bath.**

Deidara shrugged. "It's warm here, yeah." He shut his eyes. "And I can't be bothered..."

**"Do I have to drag you out? Because I will. It'll get cold." Sasori shrugged. "And then there is the bed, which will stay lovely and warm, and you wont get all pruned."**

Deidara sighed. "It's nice here, yeah. I don't feel like moving..." He didn't even TRY to move. "Come poke me in about ten minutes or something, yeah..." He yawned into his knees.

**"I will pick you up out of the bath. You'll look uglier than my scorpion shell if you're pruned. I can't have that." Sasori shook his head, somehow mockingly.**

Deidara "awww"ed in protest. He was going to say something about dignity, but about two hours ago Sasori was lacing him into a corset. All hope was lost.

**"Get up, come on! If you don't get up, I will pick you up and towel dry you myself." Sasori looked smug about this.**

Deidara tried wiggling his toes. His legs were stubbornly refusing to move. He sighed, and screwed his eyes shut. "Mean, yeah." He said childishly.

**Sasori stood up. "Fine them, I'll pick you up and towel dry you." He found a towel, and held it out. "One last chance!"**

Deidara tried very hard to disappear, as Kisame had once put it, into "that magical place inside of you where you feel no shame". His butt had gone to sleep, he couldn't feel his thighs. In all senses of the word, he was screwed.

**"Fine." Sasori advanced forwards, and scooped Deidara out of the bath, holding him bridal-style. Still holding up his arms, he dropped Deidara into a sitting position, and began to scrub at him with the towel.**

Deidara sat on the floor, blushing and dripping. His legs remained dead. He had a sudden thought and laughed. "You're this eager to get me into bed, Sasori?"

**"Shut up." Sasori glared, his eyes twitching. "I'm doing it so you don't get a cold. Or drown." He scrubbed at Deidara's hair, taking it from soaking to damp.**

Deidara winced. "Easy on the hair, yeah... You muss it up, you're brushing it after." He laughed inwardly, thinking this was a particularly evil threat.

**Sasori rolled his eyes, and then left the towel on Deidara's shoulders. "If you can't move, I'll pick you up again."**

Deidara shook his head. "It's nice being carried, yeah..." He was half-asleep, and wondering how arms made of wood could hold any strength at all.

**Sasori sighed. He bent down, and scooped Deidara up again, carrying him through into the bedroom and putting him down on the bed. He pulled the covers from under him, and pulled them over him.**

Deidara sighed, and twisted about under the sheets. He stretched out like a cat, and held out a hand to Sasori. "C'mere, it's nice..." He yawned. "Yeah."

**Sasori smiled, and crawled under the covers, and over Deidara to lie next to him. "Hnn. It is."**

Deidara wrapped his arms around Sasori's neck, and smiled. "You okay to sleep like that, yeah?"

**"Yeah, its fine." He put on hand on Deidara's hip, his thumb rubbing circles on Deidara's thigh. He sighed happily, relaxing.**

Deidara closed his eyes. He snuggled in a bit, and kissed Sasori gently on the neck. He nuzzled his face into the others collarbone. "G'night." He mumbled.

**"Night, Dei." He rested his chin on Deidara's head, and fell into a light doze.**


	3. Everything Goes Wrong and Right

**Sasori stretched out, clicking his finger joints. Six, long months since he and Deidara had been paired up. And it was six long months since they last saw any other from Akatsuki. Six long months of doing no missions. Just going around, staying at inns, looking for more Jinchuuriki. And failing, on the most part. They had found a jinchuuriki - and the next day he left on the run, leaving no trail.**

Deidara sighed, and exited the inn alongside Sasori. He was tiring of this dull routine, which went something like travel- sleep - travel - sleep. It bored him, and as a result he had produced a lot more "art". Every two dozen sculptures or so he would find a clearing and explode them all at once. It was the only outlet for his frustration, at the moment. He STILL missed Zetsu. No matter how much Sasori kidded and forced jollity, it wasn't the same. Deidara was going mad, too used to "hnn" and "unsure". Sadly, both of these answered the question that plagued him most. "What are we doing now?". Sasori didn't know, and Deidara was damned if he did. Sometimes he wished Itachi would show up to say, but then he remembered Itachi and shivered. He tossed blonde hair idly, realising he had been staring into space for too long. "Un, let's go." He gestured out into the village of Waterfall, and As the schedule went asked "Where to today? Yeah?"

**"You think I have a clue?" He rose an eyebrow. "We haven't seen or heard from anyone in the organization. And to be quite honest, I think we've been forgotten about." He looked up, cradling the back of his head in his hands. "Maybe they've decided to give us a vacation."**

"Maybe we should head back to HQ?" Deidara had been avoiding there, because staying away from base meant staying away from Rei-sama. But this was ridiculous. Too long without word. The closest they'd got to a slight HINT of the others whereabouts was when they arrived in Sand, to find a woman bleeding to death, impaled on a spike... No other sword could tear STRIPS of flesh like that. No other swordsman would stick his sword into a woman, TWIST, and then pull it out. Deidara had vomited. He hated seeing the dead. Killing was fine, as long as you didn't have to see the bodies. And anyway, that was about four months ago. So he was bored. There were no revelations to be made, nothing left to talk about. Deidara was trapped between a wall and a small man with no heart who knew everything about him. It sucked.

**"Maybe." Sasori shifted uncomfortably. "A vacation does sound a lot better, though. To be quite honest, I've never really trusted Rei-sama. He hides his face." He clicked his shoulder, and then his neck. He hated feeling nervous or uncomfortable, and at the moment he was feeling both.**

"Well, a vacation to where? It's not like we haven't been everywhere, yeah." Deidara shrugged his pack higher onto his shoulders. "Don't trust Rei-sama, he makes you promise." The last sentence was said softly, and pretty gently. It was toned so Sasori could pretend not to hear it, and Deidara could pretend he didn't say it. "Where do you wanna go? We can actually stay somewhere for a few days, yeah?"

**"I guess. But I'd much rather stay at a village without ninja... If we were ever recognized, the ANBU would take longer to get there." Sasori glanced at Deidara. "Where'd you think? We could always go to Konoha... we aren't well known faces there. I don't think. We've only ever encountered Copy Ninja Kakashi and his team of Genin... so if we don't spot any of them, we're fine."**

"Yeah, there's a big onsen in konoha!" Deidara smiled faintly. He did love hot springs, though he couldn't remember why. He had abandoned his perkiness about a month ago... Nothing to be excited about anymore. But, this was something new, so it was appreciated, so Deidara put on his happy face. "To Konoha then, yeah!"

**"To Konoha." Sasori smiled, turning his gaze ahead, dropping his arms to his sides. He sighed inwardly - Deidara had lost all his happiness, and he blamed himself for it. Infact, he knew he was the problem. Maybe while Deidara was asleep, he could go to HQ and get Deidara back with Zetsu. Jesus, what was he thinking? He's Sasori, evil puppet master, and he's fretting about someone else's happiness.**

Deidara kept an even pace, tried not to swing his arms too much. He knew he was acting spoilt. Sasori was being really nice, and he had to ruin things by huffing. He tried to figure out what Sasori was thinking. Probably something about what a pain he was. It's just... Nothing was HAPPENING. Nothing had changed since the first week they'd met. And Deidara still hardly knew Sasori at all. He didn't talk about himself. He pretended to listen to Deidara's story, all of it. It was boring. Everything Deidara had done, he'd done out of curiosity. Maybe he was more childlike in that sense. But curiosity didn't work with Sasori. He would evade questions, or get mad. And Deidara hated being yelled at. He hated silence more, though. This silence. Perhaps Sasori would talk, say something about the weather or surroundings. And Deidara would respond. But they didn't really talk any more. They didn't -connect- anymore. "There's nothing to DOOO, yeah..." Deidara whined. He would put up with the teasing, if it made Sasori smile again.

**"Then what do you want to do?" Sasori glanced at Deidara, and could tell by his facial expression he was thinking of the past six months. Where he had been a cold hearted bastard and not said anything. He sighed, looking at the ground ahead with a cloudy expression on his face, his mouth straight, but his eyes shining with something that could be read as happiness, but could be read differently.**

It had been a long journey to Konoha, bogged down with silence and unspoked words. The things Deidara was too weary to say, the thoughts that never got past his throat. They buzzed around his head like bored bees, bumping off each other.

As they neared the boundaries of Fire, Deidara finally spoke. "I can describe us now. Can I be brutal, Sasori?"

**"Go ahead." Sasori shrugged, his expression deadpan. He clicked his fingers, for about the thousandth time this journey.**

Deidara hung his head. "Excuse the expression, yeah..." He shot Sasori a small glance. "It feels like we've been married for five years and I can't please you sexually anymore." He giggled a bit. "I can't think of a better way to describe it, yeah, but do you get what I mean?" Deidara twiddled some hair idly. Sasori rarely did.

**Sasori looked at Deidara, smirked, and rose an eyebrow. "Interesting use of expression." He looked ahead again. "I guess I get what you mean. We're friends, and all the conversation is fruitless, and you are getting slightly frustrated because you do actually want to talk. Yet there is nothing to talk about." He looked over at Deidara. "That's what you mean, I hope?"**

Deidara's jaw dropped a bit. "Yeah, exactly." He was a bit shellshocked, perhaps Sasori's "people skills" weren't all dead and gone.

**"Hnn." He put his hands in his pockets. "I wish I could do something about it, because I guess I feel that way too. But I'm not exactly the talkative type, you've found and I know." He looked over at Deidara. "I know you miss Zetsu, and I'm sorry that we had to be paired up. I'm a heartless git and we both know it."**

Deidara stepped a bit closer. "You're not a 'heartless git', un! It's just the way you ARE, yeah. Don't change you." He seemed quite indignant about this, but the rest of his speech was softer, gentler toned. "I do miss Zetsu, but there's nothing I can do, yeah. We were together too long for me to not get attached to him... It's my fault again, yeah. Too clingy, too needy... Yeah, I'm a brat." Deidara scowled slightly.

**"You're not a brat. You just want attention. Its the way you ARE." Sasori sent Deidara's own words flying back at him, though not in a horrible tone - more like a tone that was 'you-said-it-so-I'm-saying-it-back-because-its-true' sort of tone. Sasori held out his hand, and grasped Deidara's. "Don't change you."**

Deidara sniffed quietly, and squeezed Sasori's hand. He stepped closer. He held his head so hair hung in his eyes, but took a step closer. He wrapped arms around Sasori's waist, rested his face on his shoulder. "Yeah... You understand me." The words came out clumsily, wetly. His face was damp against Sasori's collarbone, he twitched slightly. "That means a lot, yeah..." He made a little gasp sound, and his shoulders twitched again. "Don't know why I'm crying, yeah... Yeah, I'm happy..." Sniff. "Yeah."

**Sasori stopped, and wrapped an arm around Deidara, pulling him closer. He tilted Deidara's face upwards, and brushed the hair away from his eyes. He smiled, and wiped away the tears with his finger tips. He then leant forwards, and kissed Deidara softly. "Its alright to cry when you're happy."**

Deidara sighed softly. He needed this. An outlet for the pent-up emotion, of course. But also... Rarely in his life had he been gifted with something as innocent as a hug, someone to shush his sobs. He appreciated the gentle contact from the other. "Yeah... Damnit, you're right." He met the others eyes. "You're always right, yeah." He put his head back on the other's shoulder, and sighed. "Sasori-san?"

**"Hnn?" Wrapping his left arm around Deidara's waist, he slid his right arm up between Deidara's shoulder blades, rubbing softly. "What?"**

"I..." Deidara mumbled... He ran out of voice. He searched for an expression, a word that might help this situation at all. "I really need you, yeah." His voice sounded raw. "need" was a tiny, pathetic word. It fell from Deidara's lips to lay helpless on the floor, clawing at Sasori's leg. Now they were out in the open, Deidara's feelings were useless. Not worth it. An obsession, perhaps. No more than a teenage crush, put together with Deidara's desertion complex. Deidara felt the sobs bubble up again. This wasn't helping. Why couldn't he ignore the buzz of his own selfish thoughts and acknowledge how fucking lovely Sasori was being?

**Sasori smiled, placing another kiss on Deidara's lips. "I think..." His tongue licked at Deidara's lower lip. "I think that I might just need you too..."**

Deidara flushed, not used to the direct gaze. He was frozen. Life stopped for a few seconds, just to let it sink in. Deidara's chest filled with heat. He was wanted. He pushed back into the kiss, not wanting the soft heat to leave. Not their first kiss, but it was the only one that had mattered. It was amazing, Sasori made him feel pure again. Deidara pushed his thoughts aside, and went back to just enjoying the taste of Akasuna no Sasori.

**Sasori pulled back slightly, and pressed his nose against Deidara's. He unwrapped an arm from Deidara's waist, and used the hand to caress his cheek. He smiled, and nuzzled against Deidara.**

Deidara closed his eyes almost instantly as fingers brushed his cheek. He blushed further, and tried to keep his face sufficiently covered. He sighed happily, and leant on the other. "Yeah... Promise you won't leave me." He looked up from under his eyelashes slowly. "It's important, yeah."

**Sasori sighed happily. "I promise. I won't leave you." He pulled Deidara close into a tight hug. "It's important to me, too." All thoughts of getting Deidara back with Zetsu had vanished. In fact, he had become a Deidara-hog.**

Deidara nuzzled again Sasori's neck happily, and mumbled a "yeah". He reached for the others hand. "We should head for Konoha, un. Too long standing around..."

**Sasori took Deidara's hand, raising his other hand to stroke Deidara's hair. "Hnn. Maybe we should." He pulled back slightly, and started walking, his thumb rubbing small circles on Deidara's wrist.**

Deidara smiled, and blushed slightly. When Sasori started acting so... Sweet, it was only right to be suspicious. He wondered vaguely if the boy of red sands ever changed facial expressions. Wood was hard to bend into a smile, he guessed. He wanted candy. He didn't know why.

**Sasori looked over to Deidara and winked, tilting his head to one side. "You can have candy when we get to Konoha, Dei." He grinned, cackling mentally. Oh, it was fun to be able to read expressions like that.**

Deidara pouted. "Are you psychic, danna? Or do I just have a sugar face?" He pushed his ponytail back and squeezed Sasori's hand.

**"You have a sugar face." Sasori turned his head to Deidara, and nuzzled his ear. "If I did like sweets, I'd say it was good enough to eat."**

Deidara blushed indignantly, but he was smiling. "You're scary when you're being cute, yeah." He giggled.

**"I am, hnn? Well maybe I can make you scream at some point by continuing." He could almost see Grass village from here - and behind that, the noon sun.**

Deidara smirked faintly. "You can make me scream however you want, danna." He blushed, rather surprised he had actually said it.

**Sasori chuckled, and released Deidara's hand to snake it around his waist, pulling him closer. "You're cute enough to eat, that's for sure."**

Deidara squeaked, but didn't push Sasori away. He put his hand on Sasori's, and sighed. "Where's this come from all of a sudden, danna?" He closed his eyes a little.

**"I've kept it all down since I first got to know you. And I would have kept it down for longer if you hadn't said anything. But letting it out is a good thing." He nuzzled Deidara's cheek, a sound that could have been a purr rumbling in his throat.**

Deidara blushed deep red, tilting his head back slightly. "Yeah... Danna, this is... Wow. I didn't know, yeah." He rubbed the back of Sasori's hand, trying to ignore the feeling of wood grain against his fingertips.

**Sasori leaned in, and kissed Deidara softly. "Of course you didn't. If you did, I would have ended up doing this a very long time ago."**

Deidara flushed further, a little shocked. "Danna, I... Yeah..." He couldn't form sentences right anymore. "This is a bit... Whoa." He sighed, and took a deep breath. "I feel the same, yeah." Saying these words took a lot of his energy. Deidara leant on Sasori, chin on his shoulder. "We should get going... Yeah." He turned and started walking, face now seemingly stuck on maroon.

**Sasori smirked, and rubbed small circles on Deidara's hip with his thumb. He licked his lips, pulling off a splinter with his teeth. He looked to the sky, and pondered.**

**Sasori sighed, clicking his shoulders as he walked into the room they had just reserved for two weeks at the hot springs. He pulled off his cloak, folding it and shoving it onto a chair. He shook his head, his hair going (for lack of a better term) floofy and feathered over his eyes. Pushing it away, he sat down on his cloak and clicked his shoulders. Again.**

Deidara followed into the room. He sighed, kicking off his shoes and cloak. He flopped facedown onto the bed, and grumbled. "Yeah, I am never walking that far that fast again..." He spoke all of this into the mattress, but it was audible enough.

**Sasori chuckled. "Maybe you should get some sleep." He was suddenly at the bed, looming over Deidara with a somewhat psychotic smirk on his face.**

Deidara grunted ominously into the fabric that stretched across his nose. "I plan to, yeah." His legs straightened a little, and his hands made small fists, gripping the duvet. He yawned, and curled a little.

**Sasori lid down onto the mattress, and lay down beside him, putting his cheek against Deidara's shoulder and closing his heavy-lidded eyes. "Night, Dei-chan..."**

Deidara hummed in retort. (The sound is close enough to "un", I guess) He didn't roll over, just fell asleep near enough to instantly. He let out a few sleepy mumbles, and shuffled back a little.

**Sasori woke at the tiny strand of light that emitted from behind the blinds. It was right on his eyes, and his finely carved eyelids were too thin to block out the light. He shifted away from the light, and clicked his shoulders. He grumbled, and stood up, stretching his wings and arms out to their fullest.**

Deidara sighed, and mumbled some more nonsense. He gripped the bedclothes tighter, and let out a little whimper. His hair made for a nice curtain from the sun, helpfully.

**Sasori rolled his eyes, and held up two freezing cold fingers. He peeled back a part of the bed clothes, and pressed them to Deidara's back.**

Deidara jumped and squeaked. He pouted in protest, and blinked wearily over his shoulder. "Sasori-danna?" He yawned. "Whassat for, yeah?" The words fell clumsily from his lips. Deidara was obviously still asleep, despite the sudden shock of cold.

**Sasori poked Deidara's shoulder. "Come on. Its morning." He sat down next to Deidara, and pressed his fingers to the back of Deidara's neck instead. "Wake up and get up!"**

Deidara moaned, and wiggled in protest. "Like, six am..." He stretched slightly. "Still tired, yeah." He blinked a lot and pouted, obviously trying to make himself look cute. "Deidei wants to sleep more, danna" He pushed an arm across Sasori to rub at his hip, laying down resting his head on the other's stomach full o' wires. "Another hour? Please, yeah?"

**"No. Up. And its 9am. So you have no excuse." Sasori blatantly ignored the cute looks he was being given, looking Deidara in the eye and hoping that he would eventually give up. "Come on, its a hot springs! We have our own personal tub!"**

Deidara moaned again, nuzzling into the metal grating at his skin. "But that means getting up... Yeah, I'm still tired. I don't wanna move. Ten more minutes, yeah? Please?" He made a little noise, which could possibly just be to show how cute he was.

**"I'll pick you up, then, and shove you in fully clothed! Hot springs will wake you up!" Sasori sighed. One more attack of cuteness and he'd probably just squeal and cuddle Deidara until he choked of air loss.**

Deidara pouted, but sat up obediently. "Yeah, yeah..." He scratched the back of his head, and sighed. He raked his hair back, yawning again. "Fine, I'm up..." He slung his legs lazily over the side of the mattress, and staggered into the bathroom. Perhaps a little melodramatic, but it worked.

**Sasori sighed, and lay back on the bed, snuggling backwards and waiting for Deidara to finish. Bathing alone wasn't fun. He made a small squeaking noise as he sat up again, for no particular reason.**

Deidara gargled loudly, ignoring the foamy water that slopped down his front soaking his t-shirt. He doubted he would need it today anyway, he shrugged idly. He spat white, and with wet hands attempted to scrub sleep out of his eyes. He wasn't going to bother washing, they were going to a bathhouse... But he looked quite dead this morning. Deidara scrubbed at his chin wearily, glad he didn't need to shave. He had that horrible unclean feeling most people get with a hangover. Still, he took off his wet shirt and returned to the bedroom trying not to yawn.

**"Yawn if you want to. You look tired. But hot springs will clear that up." Sasori's cheery aura was back, and he was smiling. "The tub's through there." He pointed to a large, oak sliding door to their right. "You first!"**

Deidara hesitated a little, put off by Sasori's sudden joy. "You just wanna get me naked, yeah.." He sighed, raked a hand through his hair, and placed a hand on the door. He slid fingers around the catch, and pulled. They did indeed have their own tub, in its own little garden. Towels sat beside it, and a bottle of Sake. There were paving slabs serving as stepping stones sitting amongst the pebbles that covered the floor. Deidara looked straight at Sasori. "Yeah, how much did this COST?" He said, obviously still in awe. He made a humming noise. "Free Sake, yeah? Cool." He took a step onto the gravel nervously, and shrugged. "Nice out, yeah."

**"I don't know how much it cost, to be quite honest. I just cast a genjutsu over some leaves, left it on the counter and they put us in here." He shrugged, and pulled off his shirt, trousers and boxers, folding them up and putting them at the end of the bed before walking past Deidara, and slipping down into the tub. He let out a long sigh, and looked up at Deidara. "Coming?"**

Deidara blushed a little, but then grinned. "Yeah." He wandered ever closer to the waters edge, kicked off his shorts and sat down lightly. "Eek... I feel really dumb for saying this, yeah... But, YEAH, it's hot." He giggled uselessly, and tugged all of his hair into a handful, wrapping it into a bundle that sat on his shoulders. He lay back. "This was a good idea, yeah..." He was trying not to stare at Sasori. Oh well, where else was he meant to look? And the blush was from the steam on his face, of course.

**Sasori wrapped his arm around Deidara's shoulders, the other slipping down to grip Deidara's hip. He grinned, and nuzzled Deidara's ear softly.**

Deidara went magenta. "So much for subtlety, yeah." He leant against Sasori, glad for the heat from the water. It disguised how cold Sasori actually was. He tilted his head back and sighed. He thought longingly of the free sake.

**Sasori rubbed small circles on Deidara's hip with his thumb, whilst his stomach wires slowly snaked out to the sake, gripping it tightly before hovering beside Deidara's shoulder, next to Sasori's hand. He took it, and the cups somehow appeared from nowhere as he poured the alcohol. He held out a cup to Deidara. "Enjoy."**

Deidara took the glass, a little scared. "Yeah." He knocked back a shot, the familiar burn soothing him somewhat. He tried very hard to ignore Sasori's trailing hand, and sighed. The water was too hot, and his shoulders were freezing. Damn. "Anything to talk about?" Deidara mused aloud, trying to think away from idle flirting.

**"I don't know." Sasori drank his own sake slowly, watching Deidara's expressions change. He frowned, then relaxed into a smile.**

Deidara took the bottle and poured another glass. He drank it as quickly as he could, and surprised himself by not coughing and choking on the alcohol. "Mmm... Yeah." He wiggled down a little, so the water lapped at his collarbone. "Nicer here, yeah."

**Sasori snuggled closer, resting his chin on Deidara's shoulder. The arm that was once around his shoulders had snaked down to his hips, and his fingers were stroking softly, pausing to rub.**

Deidara put his hand on Sasori's, tracing small spirals on it lightly. It felt weird under the water. With the other hand, Deidara chucked another shot down his throat. He planned to get as drunk as possible on half a bottle of sake. He blinked and looked up under his eyelashes at Sasori cutely, and stuck out his tongue. "...Yeah."

**Sasori placed his lips on Deidara's, and pressed his tongue into his mouth, exploring. His eyes remained open to watch Deidara's expression change - he found it interesting to look at Deidara's face when he did different things.**

Deidara kissed back happily, the taste of Sasori mixing nicely with bitter booze. Blood was rushing to his cheeks, but he barely noticed. He twisted his arm up to rest on Sasori's chest, stroking lightly at the odd chakra-plug thing. The touch against the others flesh made him twitch a little, as though snapping out of a daydream. His eyes shot open, but closed again at the dull grey of Sasori's irises. He blushed further, like a child caught stealing sweets. He whimpered slightly, but the pressure in their lip lock hardly lessened.

**Sasori smirked, drawing back and nuzzling his nose against Deidara's. "You do know I love you, don't you, Dei-chan...?" He whispered softly. His hands slid further down Deidara's torso, and they came to rest on his ass - not exactly groping, but not doing nothing either.**

Deidara's face froze slightly, he tensed a little. He went deathly pale. He shook his head lightly, and took a deep breath. "U" His voice faltered. This wasn't meant to happen! God damn it, why did he have to get feelings mixed up in this? "Un." He said quietly, willing the tears away. They all said that. And then you woke up bleeding and crying. He forced a smile. "You too, Sasori-sama."

**Sasori smiled, and leaned forward to nibble on Deidara's ear. "My little artist..." It sounded so strange to him to proclaim something as his, especially a living person that he felt so strongly about. The tension in Deidara's body, and the pale skin tone told him of Deidara's fear, the forced smile telling him that maybe, just maybe, he didn't mean it... Love? Pah, what was he on?**

Deidara shook a little at the possessive pronoun. He was Sasori's, just like he was Itachi's, just like all the others. He growled slightly, realising how annoying he was being. The hell, sex was sex. Why ruin it with emotion? Though to be fair, Sasori started it. Despite his mind overworking with these complexities, he did tremble when Sasori's breathe echoed right into his ear. He purred softly, thankful that his eyes were still dry.

**Sasori frowned. The shake and the tremble had different meanings. The tremble... from his breath. The shake, from fear... or possibly anger? "Fear, or anger?" He breathed into Deidara's ear. "For once... I can't figure it out. Maybe there is more I need to discover out you, Dei-chan."**

"Sasori-san... Un, I..." Deidara's head drooped. Hopefully it was just the alcohol that made him so morose. "There's a lot about me you don't know, yeah, that..." Now his eyes were wet, just like his legs were wet. "I'd rather forget, yeah." He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hand. "I always ruin things for people... Un..." He sniffed.

**"You haven't ruined anything for me, Dei-chan..." Sasori blinked, and half-closed his already heavy-lidded eyes. 'Or don't I count as a person?' He pulled Deidara closer into a hug, and nuzzled his cheek softly.**

Deidara silently willed his whining quiet, and placed butterfly kisses along Sasori's neck. "Sorry... Un.." It was more of a whimper than a word, his voice was slowly melting away. He placed his hand back on Sasori's chest, fingers moving softly. He held himself the same though, almost hunched into a bow of apology.

**"There's nothing for you to be apologizing for, Dei-chan..." Sasori purred, his fingers rubbing at Deidara's back. "Nothing at all..."**

Deidara hung his head slightly and mumbled something, but leant across and kissed Sasori's cheek anyway. He drank sake from the bottle, not caring to look for his glass anymore. He sighed easily. It was working, he was forgetting. He giggled stupidly, and put the (near empty) bottle down, and grabbed Sasori's chin. This kiss was nothing like the last, this was searching and desperate and tasted too strongly of the drink.

**Sasori frowned, but willingly pressed back into the kiss, his tongue running along Deidara's. He leant against the edge of the bath, and pulled Deidara slightly closer, his hands linked at Deidara's lower back.**

Deidara lifted one of his legs across, and sat in Sasori's lap. He grinned, and resumed the (rather violent) kiss. His other hand rubbed lightly at the coarse wood of Sasori's back. His fingertips danced across, as though he was trying to ignore the grain of wood.

**Sasori growled, and bit down softly on Deidara's lips, and dug his nails into his back. He met Deidara's eyes, his eyes blank, looking at the hazel ones that were glazed - drunken eyes. He tried to ignore it as he leant against the blonde, his tongue dancing.**

Deidara purred lightly into the kiss, fingertips still feathering across Sasori's chest. He shut his eyes, applying a little more pressure with his tongue. One of his hands was fisting in Sasori's hair now, rubbing the nape and smoothing tangles out of the red.

**Sasori growled, and pulled back slightly. Not even saying anything, he lifted Deidara up and onto his erection, pressing softly on his hips.**

Deidara jolted, as expected. His eyes snapped open, and the hand in Sasori's hair pulled hard, too hard. He bit his lip, obviously in an attempt to muffle his scream, but his teeth passed right through the flesh. With bloody lips and leaking eyes, he let out a cry. "ITACHI-SAMAAA!"

**Sasori stopped, and glared. "Itachi?" His cold expression turned into one of pure anger. He pushed Deidara off him, and pushed him backwards into the water, standing up himself and storming back into the bedroom, shoving on his clothes and wiping his lips with a towel.**

Deidara lay backwards, and didn't shut his eyes until he landed softly on the bottom of the pool. His mouth was leaving a trail of bubbles and red-stained water. When you're drunk, bad things happen in slow motion. It seemingly took ten minutes for him to run out of air, somehow not floating in the spring water. He felt empty, stupid and used. With the usual drunk miserable logic, he realised he was. Perhaps he was crying, but he couldn't tell underwater.

**Sasori slammed the door shut, heading out into the morning sun. To escape. He wiped his lips again, and glared at everyone in passing. Some ninja looked at him oddly, like they had seen him before but just couldn't place it. They let him pass, anyway, and he stormed into the nearest sake bar, ordering in mutters to a waitress who looked rather shocked, but served him anyways.**

Deidara lay in the water. Maybe it had been warm once, but now it felt cold. Everything felt cold. He blew one last bubble, and let the hazy bubble of unconsciousness swallow him.

**Sasori, after finishing several bottles of sake, felt how he assumed 'drunk' was described - somewhat shit. He stumbled out of the bar, then shook his head and tried to walk in a straight line. Failing, but hey, who could blame him. He walked in his curvy walk back to his room, where he collapsed on the floor against the bed. He glared at everything, and then noticed the absence of Deidara. He looked through the open screen door, and sure enough, he could see him floating. He sighed. Drunkenness obviously didn't last long on him, because he managed to get up and walk through the screen doors. He knelt at the pool, and grasped for Deidara's wrists. He pulled out the unconscious blonde from the water, and carried him through to the bedroom, dumping him on the bed and covering him with the covers. He frowned at the sleeping Deidara, and the shook his head, sitting on the end of the bed, so as to avoid any vomiting from the earlier drunkenness.**

Deidara twitched, but he didn't wake. He rolled onto his side and coughed up a lot of water. This seemed to make him feel a lot better, and he curled up, scrunching the duvet around him. He was now basically lying in his own sick, but sleeping people don't care about such things.

**Sasori grimaced at the coughing noise, and rested his chin on his collarbone, closing his heavy lidded eyes. He remained conscious, however, and pondered over Deidara's earlier cry of 'Itachi-sama'. He frowned, and ground his teeth. Goddamn Uchiha.**

Deidara sat up heavily, hair matted to the side of his face. There was something slimy and sluggish in his mouth, and it was hardly relieving to realise it was his tongue. Everything tasted of poison, and he seemed stuck to the bed sheets. He attempted a casual "un", but it came out like rubbing sandpaper down a blackboard.

**Sasori looked up to the sound, and narrowed his eyes. "Go and get washed up." He growled, pushing himself up to his feet, glaring at the blonde.**

Deidara peeled his body from the under sheet, and lurched into the bathroom. He shut the door, went to take his boxers off, and realised he wasn't wearing any. He shrugged, fell into the bath and kicked the shower on. It rained cheerfully on him, while he gurgled and pried hair from his cheeks and tried to remember the last night.

**Sasori sighed, and proceeded to change the wet bed sheets. Once he was finished, he sat down again to think, yet again, about the thing that had kept him up all night. 'Why Itachi?'**

Deidara lay in the bath for quite a long time, never feeling quite clean enough. He had a terrible feeling he'd fucked up somewhere. He recognized the gross taste in his mouth. Bile, and sake. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Sake? Why the hell did he drink sake? Last time he drank sake he woke up wearing a brides veil under Kisame's bed. He took a mouthful of the shower-water, and gargled with it. He repeated this, but the sick taste, the disgusting feeling still in his mouth, clinging to his skin. His hair was defying Deidara's hangover, and continuing to glint, the buttery blonde growing only brighter when wet. Deidara himself, if he dared face a mirror, would find himself with one hell of a swollen lip, dark circles under his eyes and grey skin. He rolled onto his back, turned the heat up and tried to remember... Well, him and Sasori were flirting. That couldn't lead to the cold shoulder and this horrible, drained feeling, could it? He felt like crying. Maybe he was.

**Sasori came to the conclusion that he wasn't good enough for anyone. Maybe he should just go back to sand and dance in front of the Kazekage monument. See what the hell they'd do then. Either that, or he could find Itachi and punch him. Then Kisame would rip him to bits. Both somewhat gory. Sasori sighed. 'Why the hell am I thinking of ways to commit gory suicide?'**

Deidara could only remember a kiss... And then more sake. And now he was here, drowning in a lukewarm shower. Maybe he should ask Sasori? He sat up, not bothering to push all of his hair out of his face, and spoke softly. "Sasori-san? I've done something stupid, yeah?" His voice sounded like death. So much for hot springs doing wonders to your health. Even his hand mouth's teeth hurt.

**"More than stupid. More than hysterically idiotic." Sasori snarled, appearing in the doorway to glare. "You decided to think of Itachi while we were having sex, and ended up letting the whole hot springs know how much you love him."**

Deidara went white under the grey. He rolled onto his front again, and turned the taps on. Maybe he could drown himself. He blocked the plug with his fist, and tried not to cry. The water that splashed into his face and pooled around him was far too hot, but it didn't really matter. There wasn't really a reply to that.

**Sasori leaned forwards, and turned off the taps. He pulled Deidara upright, and glared at him. "Right. I'm going to put some rules in place here. I'm never, EVER, giving you sake again. EVER. Understood?"**

Deidara was crying, but he doubted Sasori would notice. "U-" His voice trembled. At the moment, he would rather be in bed with sodding Orochimaru than talking to Sasori. "Un." He nodded dumbly. He kept his fist in place, and wondered why Sasori was intervening.

**Sasori wiped the tears from Deidara's face. "And try not to think of Itachi the next time, hnn?" He ran a hand through Deidara's hair. "I'm not just a little sex toy you can throw into the corner when you decide you don't like it anymore." He purred into Deidara's ear, crouching beside the bath.**

At Sasori's words, Deidara shook. His face burnt red, and his head dropped. His lips formed a few words, but no sound came out. He sat there, trembling. His spine was held rigidly, and his nails were slowly raking bloody gashes in his thighs. He dug his teeth into the deep chunk missing from his lip, making it bleed again. He didn't speak, just whimpered a little.

**Sasori wiped the blood that was starting to bleed down Deidara's chin away, and pulled his nails from his thighs. "There's no need for blood, Dei-chan. You'll turn the water red." He cupped Deidara's cheek, and pulled his face towards him. He leant forward, pressing his nose against Deidara's. "Crimson." He purred.**

Deidara flinched slightly at Sasori's touch. "Yeah..." He sighed, meeting Sasori's eyes. "You don't know anything about me." His hands wiggled free from Sasori's grasp. "But, yeah, no one does." He twined fingers with the other, and kissed Sasori softly and somewhat chastely on the lips. Oddly demure considering their previous mishaps Cue cut scene involving kissing, cross-dressing, cuddling, etc.

**Sasori smiled, and nuzzled Deidara's cheek with his nose. Well, he would stroke his cheek, but his hands were occupied. "You don't know anything about me." He kissed Deidara again. "Well, I guess no-one does either. Maybe not knowing anything about each other is a good thing?"**

Deidara sighed. "If you knew certain things about me..." He giggled lightly. "Yeah, I'd probably kill you." He reached for the shampoo. "Why do I feel like I went to sleep coated in glue, yeah?"

**"You vomited. And I couldn't be assed to clean it up." Sasori took the shampoo from Deidara, and squirted a small lump onto Deidara's head. He began to massage the shampoo in with his fingertips, running it through the long, butter yellow strands.**

Deidara sighed, relaxing slightly as his scalp was rubbed lightly. He loved having his hair washed. He was still slightly too attached to reality. There was something he had to say. "Sasori-san? You know me and Itachi's, um, relationship, yeah?" He closed his eyes and blushed slightly. "That's happened with Zetsu, Leader-sama and Kisame. So I think I understand being "thrown into the corner", yeah." He wasn't crying, which surprised him. "Also, yeah..." He cleared his throat. "This might be a nail in our coffin, but I love you too, un."

**Sasori smiled, and kissed Deidara's cheek softly. "You know I love you." He finished rubbing in the shampoo, so picked up a small jug, filling it with warm water and pouring it over Deidara's head, rinsing out the suds and shielding his eyes from the soap.**

Deidara grinned. He could float off now, high as a kite, happy for once. Sasori made him happy. It had taken far too long to realise that. "Yeah!" He said, the bounce returning to his voice, but the croak ruining it slightly. "After this, yeah, I need tea."

**"I think you do, Dei-chan." Sasori chuckled, rinsing Deidara's hair again. "It'll probably rinse out the horrible sake taste in your mouth too."**

Deidara grinned. "Anything, I'd drink Kisame's piss if it got rid of the sake taste. I never want to drink sake again, yeah." He pouted. "Will you bring me some? I don't wanna get out yet, yeah." Puppy-dog eyes never failed Deidara before, he doubted they would now.

**Sasori rolled his eyes, grinning as he stood up to walk into the small kitchen-like thing. He pulled out the teabags, and started to boil some water in the kettle. He pulled out a mug, and waited for the water to boil.**

Deidara stood up, shook bubbles from his hands, and (quietly as possible) crept into the bedroom. He lay casually across the mattress, hooked one arm behind his head and grinned. This was the good kind of waiting, he thought. Good thing the heater was turned up full-blast, as he was still soaked.

**Sasori poured the boiled water onto the teabag, and stirred it quickly. He hooked out the teabag, flinging it somewhere behind him, and took it through, planning to walk to the bathroom. Until, of course, he saw Deidara sprawled on the bed. He glanced down at the tea. "Do you still want this?"**

Deidara smiled. "Yeah..." He wiggled across a bit, and gestured for Sasori to come closer. "Not like you wanna kiss while I taste like Zetsu's feet, yeah."

**Sasori was suddenly at the bed, and handing Deidara his tea as he sat down. "I dont want to know what Zetsu's feet smell like, really. I'm guessing not like some of the sweetest smelling foliage."**

Deidara blew on the tea lightly, and sipped it delicately. "They don't smell bad..." He took another sip. "Un, they just taste like anyone's feet would after walking nineteen miles in open toe sandals, yeah." He held the cup in both hands and drank deeply. When he lowered the cup again, he grinned. "You make good tea, yeah." He set the empty mug on the side table.

**"Thank you." Sasori edged closer, and then kissed Deidara softly, pressing down on his chest so he was lying down again and Sasori was on top of him.**

Deidara sighed sweetly, and wrapped his arms around Sasori's back. He rubbed softly, wiggling slightly so he wasn't pulling his hair so much. He searched for something witty to say, but no words were really needed. He purred gently instead.

**Sasori pried open Deidara's lips with his tongue, which he slipped into his mouth. A slow, content noise in the base of his throat rippled out. He held himself up with one arm, the other he used to start getting his shirt off.**

Deidara mewled eagerly, all too happy to help rip Sasori's shirt over his head violently. He pressed back into the kiss, nibbling gently at Sasori's lip. He rubbed along the others back, ignoring the roughness of wood. His hands idly walked to Sasori's waist, and fingers abandoned tact and tugged impatiently at the buttons of his fly.

**Sasori smirked, and slid his unbuttoned trousers down his legs, kicking them off. He bit down softly on Deidara's upper lip, enough to hurt slightly but not to break the skin.**

Deidara tried (and failed) to muffle a moan. His hands travelled to stroke at Sasori's ass happily. The world was getting sticky and far too hot. Sasori's warm breath blowing across his cheeks wasn't exactly unpleasant, however. He shook his hair out of his face.

**Sasori purred, pulling away from the kiss to leave a trail along his jaw, his fingers ghosting along Deidara's sides. He ground his hips against Deidara's, his boxers still proving to be a barrier.**

Deidara groaned softly in response to the contact. He pushed Sasori away with a hand to his chest. A tongue slurped happily at the chakra-plug in place on the right side of Sasori's chest. He kissed around the stomach wires, and wrapped fingers around Sasori's length. He glanced up at Sasori, and grinned. He leant his face in slightly, and licked the tip almost curiously.

**Sasori gasped, his hands gripping Deidara's shoulders, his nails digging in slightly. He made a small, strangled noise, and panted slightly.**

Deidara grinned, and let the tongue on his palm dampen the underside of Sasori's cock. He lowered his head further, taking the head into his mouth. He probed into the slit with his tongue, and pondered vaguely how Sasori could feel it. He hummed, hoping the vibrations would be appreciated.

**Sasori gasped, his nails digging in deep enough to draw blood. He moaned throatily, panting. "Ah..." He gasped at the new sensations, shuddering.**

Deidara willed his gag reflex into submission, and took Sasori deeper into his mouth. He let his teeth graze the flesh lightly, and moved his tongue to salve the heated length. He took deep breaths through his nose, and bobbed his head back up. He took a sly glance at Sasori's face Contorted and graced with the closest Sasori will ever get to a blush and pushed back down again. He repeated this a few times, loving the noises the other made.

**Sasori gave another throaty moan, removing his nails from Deidara's shoulders to slide them up into his hair, fisting the damp locks. "Ahh... Dei-chan..." He panted, tilting his head back as he savoured the sensation.**

Deidara continued this, deciding it was the most effective. He tasted the salty bitterness of precome on his tongue and grinned wickedly. He cupped Sasori's balls with his left hand, using teeth and tongue to assault Sasori further. Sasori's hand pulling his hair hurt a little, but it was worth it for those sinful moans.

**"Gah... ahh..." He ground his teeth together, and let out another throaty moan. Lights danced before his eyes, making him gasp further. "Gah... Dei..." He pulled softly at Deidara's hair, shuddering.**

Deidara (without thinking) chuckled. He mentally shrugged it off, deciding any extra stimulation was a good thing. He pulled back fully, and moved a hand to grasp Sasori. He pumped hard, and grinned wickedly. "Come for me."

**Sasori moaned, shuddering. He panted heavily, then yelled out as he came, his hands fisting and tugging at Deidara's hair. As he (slowly) calmed down, he released Deidara's hair and let his fingers ghost down his sides. "Dei-chan..." He kissed Deidara softly, licking at his lips.**

Deidara lapped softly at Sasori's tongue, ignoring the white stickiness that now coated his hands and most of Sasori's abdomen. He lay beside Sasori, eyes heavy lidded. Making sure the other was watching, he sucked his finger. "...Yeah." He said, lips twisted into a devilish smile.

**Sasori growled, and rolled onto Deidara, placing a more forceful kiss on his lips, nipping softly. "I don't think I'm quite satisfied yet."**

Deidara moaned in appreciation. He winked lightly, and placed a hand on Sasori's chest. "WhatEVER will you do to me, yeah?" He rolled his hips, his way of saying 'I'm fucking dying here, yeah'.

**Sasori grinned, shifting position so that he was sitting down. He pulled Deidara onto his lap, pressing a kiss to his lips.**

"I'm not doing all the goddamned work... Yeah." Deidara decided to be unhelpful as fuck, and just kissed back passionately.

**"I didnt say you had to, did I?" Sasori tilted Deidara forwards, hooking his arms through Deidara's legs. He grinned, sliding himself in slowly.**

Deidara let out a cry as Sasori entered him, but he willed himself still. Relax, he told himself, and we might be able to walk tomorrow. His legs gave a twang of protest as they were pushed to his chest, but he ignored it. He blushed, and shut his eyes. He moaned again throatily. "Yeah..."

**Sasori chuckled, burying himself in fully before pulling out almost completely. He didnt continue, and instead smirked at Deidara. "I haven't heard you call me danna for a while... Call me Danna..." He cooed.**

Deidara was flat on his back, face flushed, lips swollen. He gasped in cool air, and tried to still the spinning of the world around him. "U-" his voice broke slightly. "Un... Sasori-danna..." He thrust shallowly back onto Sasori, body wailing at the sudden absence. "Don't stop, yeah."

**Sasori purred softly. "I didnt hear that..." He pushed in slightly, his hands moving so he could stroke Deidara's sides. He grinned devilishly, and winked. "Say it louder..."**

Deidara pouted, sore lips contorting into a frown. "Danna…" He gasped at the air again, like he was suffocated by the oxygen. "Un… Please don't stop…" His hands fisted pathetically in the bed sheets, and he whimpered again.

**Sasori smirked, and pulled out more. "I can't hear you..." He purred. "Say it again..."**

Deidara bit his lower lip, growling in frustration. He threw his head back, sweet dripping into his eyes. "FOR FUCKS SAKE, YEAH! FINISH IT, DANNA" His throat hurt from screeching, and they would probably be in trouble with the hotel owners, but it was worth it for that second where Sasori wore a slightly bewildered expression.

**Sasori chuckled, pressing himself back in. "Good Dei-chan..." He thrust out, and back in again, repeating it while smiling down at Deidara, whose hair had splayed out, making a large ring of yellow around his head, like a halo.**

Deidara purred happily, his hips moving slightly to deepen Sasori's motions. He twisted slightly, hands moving from tearing the duvet to pieces to raking at Sasori's hips. "Un..." He groaned, smiling and blushing like a moron.

**Sasori grinned, grabbing hold of Deidara's erection and rubbing it in time to his thrusts. He tilted his head forwards, starting to pant with the sensation.**

He let out another small cry, throat feeling raw. Deidara tried to keep his hips still, and that took pretty much all of his concentration. His hands were biting and scratching deep holes in the wood of Sasori's hips.

**Sasori ran his free hand along Deidara's chest, the combination of a growl and a moan coming from the base of his throat.**

Deidara hissed, finally breaking slightly. He thrust up hard into Sasori's hand, screaming a little. "Yeah, that's good..." The tone of his voice was a little off. He'd gone from screeching like a madman to whispering like a whore. "...Danna.."

**Sasori tilted his head back slightly, still managing to keep his gaze on Deidara. "Ahh... Dei-chan..." He moaned, grinding his teeth together, the speed of his thrusts gaining.**

Deidara looked through his eyelashes at Sasori, grinning. He tried to ignore the near-painful throbbing of his erection, and just moaned as Sasori quickened. He met the others (eerily) calm gaze with hazed eyes, and forced his lips to form a few simple words. "Harder, un."

**Sasori's head nodded forwards again, his calm gaze starting to glaze over. He drove in harder, stroking Deidara's erection with the same pace and force. He bit his lip, his teeth leaving dents. He made a strangled noise, and saw white as he spilled his seed into Deidara. He moaned, hunching over slightly, panting heavily. His trembling fingers held onto Deidara's erection, still stroking rapidly, although his thrusts had stopped.**

Deidara restarted his screaming as he felt sticky heat inside him, and flopped back onto the bed. Flashes of light obscured his vision as he came messily over his stomach and Sasori's hand. He tugged at the others shoulder, pulling Sasori on top of him. He sighed. "...Un."

**Sasori smiled, kissing Deidara's cheek. He untangled his arms from Deidara's legs, and wrapped them around his waist.**

Deidara leant into the cuddle, sighing. He rested his head against Sasori's chest, and made a little happy mumble. "Danna." He grinned.

**Sasori grinned back, one hand going up to stroke Deidara's hair. "Dei-chan..." He kissed the top of Deidara's head, purring. "I love you."**

Deidara smoothed circles onto Sasori's prosthetic chest with his index finger, sighing. He trembled a little again at the words, but smiled again. "...Un."

AN/ HOORAH! Merry SasoDei Christmas to everyone!


End file.
